When The Sun Sets in The East
by C-ish
Summary: 'Yes. Not a demon or what the warlock claimed as a Methamorphagus. His blood is yours.' SEQUEL to: 'When The Sun Rises in The West' Rainy days seem to attract ex-lovers to Magnus Banes' door, even if they aren't supposed to be alive. But a person reborn is a different person altogether, so what hurts more? Love lost to death or rejection? Rated M for a reason
1. Autumn

When the Sun Sets in the East  
Chapter 1: Autumn

"Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale."  
- Lauren DeStefano

SEQUEL to : When the Sun Rises in the West

So, here we are again. I actually had the idea for a sequel in my head when I was writing 'When the Sun Rises in the West' but I never thought I'd actually write it. It was a little bit of comfort I gave myself when I killed Alec, (and I kept it in my head and left everyone feeling like crap after reading it. Ha. Ha.) So, this is your sequel, and if you really wanted this, _be careful what you wish for_.

WARNINGS: Lemons, vulgarities, slash pairing, slight horror  
DISCLAIMER I: Cassandra Clare owns all  
DISCLAIMER II: The facts regarding Apollyon in the following story are not in accordance to any myths, stories or any references. It is fiction made up for the sake of the storyline. Don't bother searching for it, it doesn't exist. (I hope)

* * *

Beep beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beep.

Isabelle set her book down and reached for her phone which lay on her dresser.

Magnus Bane calling.

She blinked several times, wondering what in the Angels name did he want. A wave of anger and sadness hit her as she answered the call.

"Yes?" she intended to sound annoyed or even furious but the tone that escaped her lips was weak and defeated. It had been over a month now, and the passing month had been a tough month indeed.

..

A month and a half ago Isabelle Lightwood became an only child.

It had not been easy for her, not when her other sibling had left her only a few years back. Upon knowledge of Alecs' death, Isabelle had screamed and cried and wailed until her throat was hoarse and her eyes dry of tears. She had no reason to be strong anymore, she deserved to express her pain, or so she thought. She spent two weeks in denial, crying painfully and refusing to eat, till the point where Simon had to force his way into her room to get her to consume some bread at least. Isabelle had flung pillows at him and demanded him to get out, but Simon had put an arm around her waist and pulled her body against his, holding her tight in his arms until her fury finally broke, and she sobbed into Simons shirt, her sobs wracking her body causing her small body frame to shake. Simon held her, chest against chest as she grieved, and he himself had shed a few tears as well, as though her pain had been conducted to him through their bodies. He held onto her day and night until her grief fueled body ran flat, and she fell asleep on Simons' tear sodden Star Wars T-Shirt, neither of them moving from that position.

Simon was awaken from his sleep when he heard echoes coming from Isabelles' bathroom and that was where he found her, knees hugged to her chest as she rocked herself back and forth, her face buried in her knees. The basin mirror was cracked, resembling a spiders' web where Isabelle had punched it, a few shards dropped into the sink. Simon sat next to her and put an arm around her, and she melted into him, her arms wrapping around his body as she continued to cry. Simon swallowed hard, he himself felt like crying, but he had to stay strong for Isabelle. Isabelle needed him. She held him close to her heart because it felt so painful, like broken.

This went on for a few nights until Isabelle had finally ceased her tears, and had resorted to being silent. Simon never left her side unless he needed to, and when he finally coaxed her into speaking she told him that she couldn't stand looking in the mirror for she bore to much resemblance to him, nor could she ever forgive herself for what she had done. Isabelle Lightwood claimed she killed both her brothers. She spoke of how if she had protected Alec he would never have gotten hurt, of how she had always disregarded Alec when they were fighting together, that she thought Alec could handle it alone. She started sobbing again when she talked about the last time she saw Alec, how she walked out without saying goodbye, or how she spent too little time with him when she still had the chance to. When she spoke she poured out all her regrets, one by one, in detail and in pain, and Simon had sat there and listened to them all, stroking her back or her silky raven hair, silent and understanding. He had known better than to try to convince her that it wasn't her fault, for she would hear none of it. Simon had made certain that his silence meant that he was in acknowledgement of her regrets but not in agreement. Isabelle was too weak and heartbroken to bother about Simon, but when her sadness had finally subdued she had kissed him sweetly on his lips and thanked him for everything, and they held each other again that night, and slept peacefully with lips swollen from kissing.

The beginning of the end was marked with Magnus Bane calling her on the phone, his voice raw and shaky as he told her three simple words. "Alec is gone." Isabelle had been caught off guard, almost considering Magnus to have played a trick on her, but the pain in his voice was evident and genuine. Also, he had started to sob through the phone right after, unable to contain his sadness. Isabelle was still in shock of things as her grief had not struck her yet, and had asked if she could go over to see her brother for the last time, but Magnus tried his best to explain that there was no body left, and then Magnus had arrived at the institute with a box of Alecs' things. By then Isabelle had finally broke and crumbled to the ground, crying. Magnus himself was cold and silent, and hadn't bothered to put on any make up or style his hair, his eyes puffy from tears. In the box contained Alecs' Zip Shirt, a few pairs of his trousers, the handle of a seraph blade Magnus had found on him the day Alec had rang his doorbell, and two crumpled pictures. The first was of Isabelle, Max and Alec on Maxes' seventh birthday, smiling happily at the camera before Max blew the candles of his birthday cake out. The other of Magnus and Alec, Magnus pressing a kiss to Alecs' temple in front of the Eiffel Tower. Magnus should have been awarded for keeping himself together the whole time he was at the Institute. He did not cry or express his sadness the whole time as he watched Isabelles' heart break and shatter like fallen glass on the pavement. He didn't shout back at Jace when the golden haired boy cursed and yelled at him for Lilith knows what reason. After awhile his words became incoherent and jumbled, and he stormed off, Clary following him. He took the Zip Shirt out and held it to his face for the millionth time, the smell of Alec still clinging to the seams of the fabric.

"Alec told me not to wash his jacket the day before because he said it wasn't dirty. Good thing I listened to him. It would've smelled like detergent instead." Magnus said sadly when Isabelle had grown quieter.

"H-He finally ac-acknowledged i-it as a j-jacket, did h-he?" Isabelle said in between sniffles, trying to bring herself to smile.

"Yeah," Magnus gave a sad, airy chuckle. "Or maybe he found pockets." Magnus mused aloud, proceeding to unzip the zipper completely, and true enough there was a slit in the former Zip Shirt turned jacket on the inside of the jacket. He reached his hand in and to his surprise pulled out a stack of white envelopes. Each envelope had been addressed to different people. Maryse & Robert Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Clary Fray, Jace Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood and finally Magnus Bane. Magnus held his letter in crumbling hands, fighting the urge to cry again. _Those who do not fear death welcome it_, and Alec had prepared for it. At that moment he had felt so angry, so cheated. Alec knew he was going to die and yet he never talked to Magnus about it. Was that how Alec was going to say goodbye? With words written on paper? At the end, what do words mean anyway. Words compensate nothing. Words tore him and Alec apart the first time, words can't redeem him now. He handed the rest of the letters to Isabelle, took the crumpled picture of Alec and him in Paris and left without another word. That was the last time Isabelle had seen him.

Isabelle had kept her letter in a locked drawer, still unable to bring herself to open it. No doubt she would not be able to handle its contents. Simon had let her open his, partly touched that he was worth Alecs' time to write a letter to, and Isabelle had sobbed silently when Simon had took the letter and read it to her, Isabelles' eyes too watery to see clearly. She closed them and imagined that it was Alec speaking, that it was Alec telling Simon about her likes and dislikes, of how he would haunt his existence if he ever mistreated her. He had also thanked Simon for taking care of Isabelle, for respecting her, and told him that as an older brother he couldn't be more grateful that Isabelle had found someone like him, instead of a snarky sarcastic macho boy with a big ego. As a joke, Alec had put '(a.k.a Jace)' next to the description. Isabelle tried to laugh but it hurt because it reminded her of how quirky Alec could was. When she finally opened her letter Simon had offered to let her have a moment of her own, but Isabelle would not allow it. She read it out, every word of it and had forced herself not to cry until she reached the end. The ending broke her heart again.

_I would apologize to you for leaving you alone, but I know you may never forgive me, nor will I ever forgive myself, but I'm going to be with Max now, I'll keep him safe for you, forever, and although you cannot be here with us, we will always be with you, watching over you, and most importantly, we will be in your heart as you will always be in mine. I love you Isabelle. _

..

"Magnus, what?" she tried again when she received no response from the other end of the line. Magnus seemed to have left the phone to tend to something, and Isabelles' patience was wavering.

"Oh, sorry. Right, Isabelle, call the Silent Brothers and come here, now. You won't believe me if I tell you this but, Alec is back." he hung up immediately after that without waiting for a response. There was a certain urgency in his voice that made Isabelle feel compelled to rush to Magnus' place at once but her head was spinning. The irony of the only two phone calls Magnus Bane had called her was regarding her brother, one saying 'Alec is gone', the other 'Alec is back.' How could Alec be back? What the hell is Magnus Bane talking about? Her brother was dead. Her brother was gone. She will not be toyed like this. The dead can't rise again, or so she thought, but there was no way of suppressing the burst of hope rising in her chest. It was too good to be true, but Isabelle went anyway. Anything concerning Alec concerns her.

..

"Holy mother fucking Lilith." he cursed under his breath as his eyes widened. He blinked and stared as his jaw dropped and his heart pounded. "No fucking way." he told himself as he made his way down the staircase. "No fucking way." he repeated. "_No mother fucking way_." he sang as he ripped the door open.

"Mother fucking way." he breathed as he came face to face with the image his eyes had deceived him with.

"My name is Alexander Lightwood but I think 'mother fucking way' has a nice ring to it." the other person replied, smiling brightly.

"No way." Magnus was shocked, suspicious, happy, overwhelmed, scared, confused? There were so may emotions fighting to be expressed that he felt like he was... Lagging.

"You're right, 'mother fucking way' kinda sucks compared to my name." he smiled before he bowed his head down shyly.

"Alexander? But how?" Magnus did not know how to phrase it properly. There was a million questions in his mind.

"If I tell you how my mother gave birth to me and gave me my name could I come in? It's rather cold." Alec blinked away some rainwater from his long dark eyelashes. He was soaked with it from head to toe, his black clothes even darker now that it was wet. His hair was plastered to his face but other than that he looked the same. From the slant of his eyebrows to the curve of his lips he looked exactly like Alexander Lightwood, not to mention that his blue eyes were even brighter now, but his Shadowhunter runes had faded on his pale skin.

"Right, come in, come in." Magnus was so confused he felt giddy, and his brain wasn't working.

"Thank you kind sir." Alec smiled as he walked in, running a hand through his hair to rid it of some water. The tone of Alecs' voice caught Alec off guard. Did Alec not know him? Or was this not Alec at all? The thought that someone posing as Alexander Lightwood was alarming He had known the world long enough to be aware of the existence of Metamorphagi in the dark ends of the world, but this boy had seemed to real to be an imposter, nor a demon for that matter. One demon could smell out another. Either that or Magnus was too willing to believe that Alec was alive to turn a blind eye to any fakes. He wanted nothing more than to wrap Alec in his arms once more, to feel the warmth of his body and melt into the dips and delves of his toned body, but he could not. He wasn't going to scare Alec away if he were real.

He brought Alec back to the apartment, trudging up the stairs after Alec as he left a wet trail of footprints as he ascended, and as soon as Alec stepped into the apartment Chairman Meow had jumped from the kitchen table and into Alecs' arms, almost catching him off guard. _Way to go Magnus, attack him with your cat, _Magnus had thought but the other boy simply bundled the cat into his wet chest with one arm and scratched the back of his ear with another.

"Well hello there Chairman, Meow are you today?" Alec cooed as Magnus stood aside and watched, puzzled. 'Meow are you today' was this awful pun which Alec made when he spoke to Chairman Meow, but that was before. He picked his phone up and called Isabelle Lightwood. Alec then lifted the cats small front paws and made as though he was talking. "_Why Alec, I'm just paw-some. It's a purr-fect day!_" he said in a higher pitched voice and Magnus raised an eyebrow, even more confused. Alec used to do that back then, but that made even less sense. How could Alec not know who he was but remembered his cat clearly? He felt jealous for a split second, but Isabelles' voice on the phone had stopped him from thinking about it.

"Oh, sorry. Right, Isabelle, call the Silent Brothers and come here, now." He said bluntly, his eyes never leaving Alec, almost afraid he would disappear in a puff of smoke. He still could not believe his eyes but there he stood, living, breathing, smiling and drenched in rainwater. "You won't believe me if I tell you this but, Alec is back." He hung up.

"How do you know my cats' name?" he asked, genuinely curious. Alec stopped playing with Chairman Meow and looked up to him innocently before blushing as he looked away.

"I- I don't know. It just came to me." he said, hoping his answer was enough to the man who had provided shelter from the horrible storm that brewed outside. "I think it's a joke I heard some time ago." he tried to figure it out himself. He didn't know how he knew the cats' name either before this, but something told him the cat knew he was.

"Do you know who I am?" Magnus asked again. Alec bit on his bottom lip and dipped his head politely.

"A warlock? No, sorry." he replied weakly. He knew he had seen the man before, but he did not know where or when or how, and as hard as he tried to back track his thoughts he still could not figure out who he was. Even so, this man made Alec feel comfortable. It brightened his mood somehow, like the first time you sit on a bean bag and somehow the bean bag just fits you perfectly. This man was one hell of a bean bag. At the same time Magnus was still wondering whether Alec, was Alec, regardless of the fact that this Alec was exactly like his Alec. He blushed a lot, was shy and innocent and nice. He wanted to believe that this Alexander was his so badly, but he would not let his heart be broken again because of false hope.

"Do you remember anything at all?" he asked, and Alec shook his head. "How did you come here then? And why did you decide to ring my doorbell and not go to the hotel down the street?" Alec put Chairman Meow down and took a few steps back.

"If I'm overstaying my welcome I-I'm very sorry. I just thought..." Alec turned away. "Sorry for disturbing you sir, thank you for your time." he tried to respond positively as he made his way through the door. He thought that this man could help him. Alec had been jolted awake by what felt like a surge of electricity and when he looked around he was at Magnus' front door. He could not explain what brought him to ring Magnus' doorbell but he felt that it was the right thing to do, and that whoever who was on the other side would help him explain everything, or maybe get back home. He only remembered home as glimpses of wide hallways and various rooms, but he did not know where. He would've went house by house until he saw something that triggered recognition in his mind but it was raining heavily and if he had stumbled to this place it must've been the right place to be, or at least it was a start. When he first saw the man on the other side of the door he was transfixed with the mans appearance. He was very tall, with beautifully bronzed skin and dark spiky hair, but it was his eyes that intrigued Alexander the most. It was hauntingly beautiful, gleaming golden green eyes with slits for pupils, just like a cats eyes. He felt strangely happy to see this man although he had no clue why. Now he felt rather hopeless and disappointed when he thought that his warlock companion did not enjoy his company.

"Alec wait." Magnus called out quickly. He must have brought the impression that he did not want Alec here. Alec stopped and turned back.

"Why do you call me Alec when my name is Alexander? Shouldn't my name be Alex? Do you... Know me?" he asked desperately. He truly hoped that this man knew him. Even if they were mere acquaintances who met once in a coffee shop or at a club he could help him find his home. But then again why would the warlock help him. He probably meant nothing to the man. Magnus chuckled. 'know me' was an understatement to how much Alec meant to him.  
Magnus nodded once. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood, two siblings, well, one now, and a bitchy parabatai." Magnus didn't want to mention boyfriend in there. If Alec remembered nothing he would have to go through the whole 'come out of the closet' phase again. God he hated that, but if that is what it took, Magnus would happily do it again.

"What do you mean one now?" Alec squinted. Magnus sighed and went to the kitchen.

"There'll be time for questions later, but I prefer to have my house guests not to catch a cold." He said, brewing a cup of coffee for Alec.

"Here, drink, and you're going to have to lose those clothes now, I'll get you something to wear." Alec took the cup from Magnus, sipped from it and looked down at himself and blushed, not intending to undress in the presence of a stranger. But _was_ he a stranger? He said there was time for questions later. It wouldn't harm anyone to ask what his name was, was it? Maybe then he'll remember why he felt so happy when he saw him. Maybe he'll understand more about himself. Maybe he'll...

"And down we go." Magnus let Alec lean against him as he passed out, a hand stretched out to catch the cup of coffee from Alecs' limp hand. He struggled to turn to set the cup down at the kitchen counter, and then dragged Alec to a bed he conjured moments ago, casually handcuffing one of his wrists to the railing of the bed.

..

"A sexy, sexy warlock."

"-And you want to know why I never called you back?"

"Max. Max is-"  
"Hush now, rest."

"It's too early to joke about the happy memory thing now is it?"

"-It's a million tiny paper cuts every day."

"I love you too."  
"Kiss me."

"Fine. Go ahead. _Kiss _me right now."

"I love Magnus."

"Love is a strong word."  
"Aku cinta kamu. Not that it changes anything."

"But-"

"Sentiasa dan selalunya. Jangan lupa."  
"Call me?"

"Always and forever."

"Magnus?"  
"The eldest Lightwood child. Queer as a pretty Ravener."  
"Bold, but stupid. And he dares show his face here."

"Bugger them all. Or would you like me to give them tails?"

"I love Magnus."

"I _love_ Magnus."

Flashes of memories ran through Alecs' mind flipping like pages of a book in the wind. The images were blurry, faceless people sometimes saying strange things, but he heard every word clearly. Every single word, echoing in his mind, haunting him. The worst part was that he did not understand what they meant, and who Magnus was and why some love confessions were laced with such sadness. He did not understand. No, he did not remember.

"No way." he heard a female voice gasp, a familiar one. He had heard it before in his dreams. His eyes fluttered open and he blinked, regaining his vision.

"Funny, my warlock companion had said that when he first saw me too." he grumbled softly, and attempted to sit up before he realized that his hand had been bound to the bed he slept in. He was also in the living room, which was strange. He rattled the handcuff in a feeble attempt to break it off the bed railing, and furrowed his brows at it in annoyance before turning back to the girl. She looked all too familiar to be a stranger, almost like a reflection of himself, with softer eyes and fuller lips. She looked like a feminine version of himself.

"Alec!" the girl literally flung herself on him in a rib crushing hug. "But how?"

"Is it custom to say the same things? The warlock said the same as well, and why am I chained to the bed? Do you intend to kill me?" he asked breathlessly for the air was crushed out of his lungs, but she did not scare him, not did the warlock. They had the same aura to them. They made him feel at home. Bean bags. Yes. Alec decided that was a good term to explain them.

"Nohofcoznod" she said, her voice muffled as she spoke into her shoulder. "It really is you, isn't it?"

_Yes it is_.

Nobody spoke but Alec could hear the voice inside his head. He shuddered, and whipped his head from side to side to search for the voice.

"Brother Zachariah." Alec called out, his voice low and suspicious. A hooded man in parchment colored robes emerged silently from the kitchen.

_Curious_.

"You know him?" the girl asked, letting go of Alec. Alec sucked in a deep breath.

"I remember him." Alec replied, his eyes still on the Silent Brother.

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Do you know who I am?"

"No." came a sharp and honest answer, though it meant no disrespect. He pursed his lips together and looked down, afraid to have disappointed the girl.

_Alexander seems to have no memory of those who had brought happiness to his life_.

"Alec, I'm your sister. Isabelle." she smiled, reaching a hand out to stroke his face.

"Hi Isabelle." he said almost too formally. Isabelle expected as much from her brother. It could have been worse. He could have been hurt again, or even lost a body part. Memory loss couldn't be that bad. Isabelle felt tears flowing down her cheeks. _I have my big brother_.

"Don't cry Izzy, Shadowhunters are strong, like angels in steel armor." he pushed a lock of her hair from her face and curled it around his finger before wiping off a tear with the back of his index finger. Isabelle looked at him, her eyes widening. He hasn't said that to her since she was young, and she remembered it ever since. Alec withdrew his finger quickly like he had been burned by fire.

"I'm sorry did I do something wrong?" he asked, but Isabelle only smiled back at him.

"No, it's just that you haven't said that to me in a long time." she replied, turning to Brother Zachariah. "So this is really Alec?"

_Yes. Not a demon or what the warlock claimed as a Methamorphagus. His blood is yours.  
_  
"But how?" Isabelle asked, but before the Silent Brother could answer the door creaked open and in came Magnus, Jace and Clary. When Isabelle arrived she had sent Magnus to get the rest, complaining that she will not be going in that rain again. Magnus left reluctantly, giving Isabelle the death stare, but he left anyway.

"In the name of all that is holy, no way." Jace said the moment he laid eyes on Alec, and Clary looked equally shocked as well. As Alecs' parabatai, Jace knew of Alecs' passing the moment he had gone, but he had been sleeping at the time. He felt as if a part of him chipped off and left him. He felt lighter, but it did not feel good. He felt empty. Next thing he knew he was awaken by Isabelle screaming from the front door, and then he knew. He knew Alec was gone. He did not handle his grief well. He blamed the High Warlock of Brookyln for not being able to treat Alec. He blamed Isabelle for letting Magnus keep Alec in his apartment, but most of all he blamed himself. Alexander was his parabatai. He had sworn to protect him, to be there for him, to make sure he received no harm, but the Mighty Jace Lightwood and his big head doesn't care about safety. He was reckless and carefree, and Alec had paid the price for that. Alec was the only brother he ever had. Max was, too, but he had never knew how to indulge in the company of young children. He grew up with Alec, played with him, got in trouble with him, fought side by side with him. They were the Dynamic Duo. What was he without Alexander Lightwood? He had broken things, punched at concrete and tried to jump onto the roof of the institute to burn out his grief, but he felt hollow. All the time. With the parabatai bond severed he had a constant reminder that there was no Alec. Clary had been with him when he wanted her, and stayed away when he wanted to be alone, but he didn't cry. He just screamed and yelled and destroyed and bled for his actions out in the open, but when Clary woke up next to him in the middle of the night she could see that his pillow was wet with fresh tears. Jace never truly recovered ever since.

"You see I'm actually considering to change my name to that. 'No Way.'" Alec chuckled uncomfortably. He was not used to everyone looking at him like he had just sprouted antlers on the top of his head.

"Alec.. " Jace walked to the bed and sat on it, looking at Alec carefully, examining his features.

"How're you feeling?" the warlock asked.

"Remind me never to drink your coffee."

"Sorry, I had to make sure. No hard feelings." Magnus smirked and walk towards him, his bright eyes watching him.

"How is Alec alive again?" Isabelle asked Brother Zachariah again, a little impatiently this time.

_Warlock. The book. But not here, not with Alexander in the room.  
_  
Everyone turned to look at Alec once again.

"I would walk out but-" he rattled his handcuff once more.

"I would offer you a cup of coffee but you won't drink it." Magnus retorted cheekily. He snapped his fingers and the handcuff disappeared. Alec rubbed his wrist.

"Go wait in the bedroom." Magnus said, patting him on the shoulder.

"If you say so." Alec replied almost flirtatiously, winking before he hopped off the bed and skipped off to Magnus' bedroom. Now everyone the room has dropped their jaws.

"Mental images." Jace cringed and scrunched his face up, placing a hand to his forehead.

"What. Was. That." Isabelle stated more than asked, before shaking her head.

"Why can't Alec be in the room when you explain it to us, Brother Zachariah?" Clary asked in effort to change the subject.

_There will come a time when he will be ready to know that he had died and risen again, but the time is not now. Not when his memory is so severely depleted._

Magnus conjured the book. The damn book which he read before Alec had died in his arms, before he went up in flames. The last time he went up in flames was when his mother had drowned himself. Magnus had went, a fireball into the river to retrieve her body, and he had set fire to the river as he went. The long stretch of water a blue snake of flame. He had to leave the village the next day when he realised that the river was burned, charred black, the riverbed had nothing left but bones of the helpless seafood and dust of the kelp.

Brother Zachariah opened the book to the page where APOLLYON was written in ancient font. Magnus twitched his nose uncomfortably. He had no intention in telling these people that they were staring at his father. He hoped that they skipped the part where it stated the characteristics of their half-mundane spawn.

_In whispers has mentions of Apollyon the Merciful_.

"It's said that the Deceiver was merciful sometimes. In gossip, songs, poetry." Magnus translated for the group of young Nephilim.

_Of the Deceiver toying with life on strings of death_

"In this context the Deceiver and Apollyon is the same demon. He plays with his prey. Poisons them and then has some fun with them."

_He shall pull his destroyed on the strings for six sevens, six eights of three, and six of ten sixes._

"He will torment is prey for six weeks, six days and six hours exactly. No more no less, or so I found out the hard way."

_His destroyed will be gambled, between life and death, and whichever death string snaps first, his destroyed will still be taken._

"Basically his prey will be sick and then healthy just to trick him and when the time is up, sick or healthy he will take his victim. In this case, Alexander."

_But if the Deceiver were the Merciful as the mentions, the destroyed would be mended._

"But if the songs were true and the Deceiver were as bloody merciful as he was. His victim could be brought back to life."

_The string snapped could be tied with the flame of death itself and Apollyons absenter._

"The broken string, the string of death, could be 'tied back' with Deaths' Fire and something that Apollyon-slash-the Deceiver doesn't have."

_And the destroyed shall rise again after the three sixes to the fire, struck down by Zeus himself._

"And then Alec will rise again after the three sixes which are the six weeks, days and hours, sent down by lightning and thunder."

_If you know what it means, warlock, why have you called?_The Silent Brother asked.

"It said that the string would be 'mended' back together. It doesn't mean that Alec is free from Apollyon. It just means that he's alive. What if Apollyon 'snaps his string' after the three sixes again? I want Alec to be free of Apollyon. I want the strings cut without risking Alecs' life. Forever." Magnus demanded more than asked. "And why has my- I mean _the _Deceiver given him back?"

_For the level of your intelligence, I would have presumed you would have dressed accordingly._

"Did Zachariah just insult Magnus' wardrobe and praised his intelligence in one sentence? Or did he just praise his wardrobe and insult his intelligence? I need to take lessons from this guy. But the insults only." Jace whispered to Clary. She chuckled. Magnus glared at him.

_This matter would be looked through. There are ways to severing ties with Greater Demons_.

"When worse comes to worst we could stab him with an Angel sword. Wasn't that bad." Clary elbowed Jace to keep him silent.

_The Deceiver has given him back, but not willingly. Apollyon is not 'merciful' as the old songs claimed he was. It was a paternal gift, to his children. _Magnus cringed. They were going to find out. He shouldnt've have asked. _Apollyon granted his demon children with Deaths' Fire, allowing them to claim back the dead destroyed under one condition, that they had love in their hearts and souls. Apollyon was not a great father, for demons were incapable of love, and laughed as his children set their pet humans on fire, the ones that the Deceiver himself poisoned, burning them till nothing was left.  
_  
"Free cremation services from the devils' spawn. How handy." Jace chuckled, but no one was paying attention.

_You brought back Alexander from your fathers grasp, Magnus Bane, because you loved him._

..

Alec was pacing back and forth in Magnus' bedroom. He had buried himself in the blankets, breathing in the intoxicating smell which was Magnus, but Alec was unaware of it. It smelled of comfort and warmth, acceptance and love. He bounced about on the bed and rolled around in it until he was bored. He wished Chairman Meow were in here with him. He really liked the cat. He stopped at a bedside drawer and opened it, and a crumpled picture caught his eye. It was him, and the warlock. The warlock was kissing him on the temple and they were in front of the Eiffel Tower.

"THAT ABOMINATION IS YOUR FATHER?!" he could hear screaming from the other side of the door, Isabelle yelling, and the response was soft. Even as Alec pressed his ear against the door he could only hear murmurs. He was still holding onto the picture, finding it very familiar like he held it before. He could not hear anything more than the murmurs after that, so he returned to the bedside table to place back the photograph, when a horn like object caught his eye. It was black and bone, and looked powerful enough to stab someone. He held it in his hand before dropping it back in the drawer, backing away from it. It felt terrible holding on to it, it felt like... Death. Strangely Alec wondered why he had placed that term to that feeling but he saw that it fit.

..

_His memories of happiness are his payment for giving him back. Alexander remembers everything unrelated to his happiness, Shadowhunter training, runes, even his skills are still in place, but he cannot remember any happiness in his life. _

"Like father like son I see, Magnus doesn't come cheap either." Isabelle voice out sullenly.

"WOULD YOU PREFER IT BE LILITH SO HE WOULD BE DEAD FOR GOOD?" Magnus snapped, blue flames sparking from the palm of his hands. He refused to be chastised in the name of his father, he was ashamed of it enough on his own. The 'Deceiver' had done nothing but kill his mother and set everyone out to hate him. When you were a 10 year old child, it was hurtful, and young wounds make old scars, and old scars can never be forgotten. Isabelle quieted down instantaneously.

_Apollyon had only stolen the memories from his mind, but there are other ways one remembers. His eyes remember what has been done before, just as his body remembers what it has felt before, just as his soul remembers and so does the heart. He feels the happiness when seeing you because he has seen you before but besides that there is no other form of happiness in his life. Movement Memories, they are called, for only with the movement being done will he remember it and he will act the same way as it happened before, and with that the memory will be registered in his mind. _

"That explains why he knew Chairman Meow, because the cat always jumped at him from the kitchen table." Magnus mused aloud.

"That's why he wiped away my tears and called me Izzy and told me we were steel armored angels just like when we were young." Isabelle added softly.

"I can't believe that's why he winked at Magnus and literally skipped to the bedroom." Jace shuddered dramatically. The bedroom door opened and Alec came out.

"What do you mean 'dead for good'?" he asked, puzzled, but he didn't get his answer. Magnus strode across the room and held his face, tilting his head to kiss him full on the lips. _I'd be damned if he can't remember this_. Alec stood, shocked at first but as soon as he felt Magnus' lips against he began kissing back.

_"Magnus, what was that for?" Alec looked shocked but he was smiling as well, blinking away the rain from his eyes. They were hurrying back to their hotel room. hands twined together when Magnus had tugged Alec back by his arm and stopped to kiss him on the sidewalk. It was wet and cold but as their lips touched a fire had ignited in between them. They were both soaking wet, Alecs' hair plastered to his forehead while somehow Magnus' hair still stood in its' fabulous spikes, and none of his mascara ran. Warlocks and their magic._

_"Isn't it romantic, being kissed in the rain?" Magnus chuckled, leaning his forehead against Alecs'._

_"I would've said candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach but since we've done that already there aren't that many romantic things to do anymore, is there?" Alec replied._

_"Don't worry, we'll figure out something." Magnus bumped noses with Alec, eliciting a small laugh from him._

_"While we're figuring it out, let's not waste the rain, shall we?" Alec pressed his lips against Magnus' once more._

It seemed almost too familiar, like he had done it a thousand loved the feeling of the warlocks lips against his own. No, Magnus. This is Magnus. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck and slid his tongue into the warlocks' mouth like it was the most natural thing to do in the world, and Magnus felt his heart burst. He had Alec back again. He have his Alexander Lightwood again. Magnus pulled away eventually because if he didn't he might not be able to stop. The pair were breathing heavily, smiling, and Magnus looked him in the eyes.

"Magnus." Alec stated. He knew that this was Magnus.

"Yes. You remember?" Magnus almost started laughing.

"I remember." Alec nodded.

_Beware, warlock. The happier the memory the easier it is forgotten again. Apollyon does not like to lose, he brings pain_. The Silent Brother said before leaving, but Magnus could not be bother about it right now. Alec remembered who he was and that was all that mattered in the world.

"Well if I have to kiss him again, I'd rather we be strangers." said Jace.

* * *

A/N: I hope that clears up the doubts in the previous story! Once again I apologize for any and all mistakes, and I hope you enjoyed it.

**BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.**

I'm not going to let you off the hook with such an easy happy ending. This is a multi-chaptered fic. A short one with 3-4 [pretty damn long] chapters

A wise man Eddard Stark once said something along the lines of long summers having even longer winters after that, and this is Autumn.

_Winter is coming._

Thanks for reading x  
C-ish


	2. Winter (i)

When the Sun Sets in the East  
Chapter 2: Winter (i)

"Nothing burns like the cold."  
-George R. R. Martin

It's a bittersweet chapter.

WARNING. SMUT AHEAD.

* * *

_The voice reminded him of Magnus. It was gravelly and whispery, with more air in his sentence than words, yet it reminded him of Magnus' voice all the same. It echoed and rang through his ears, but Alec feared nothing._

_"Only just a boy." He heard as he walked through the dark forest. It was so familiar, the trees, the grass, even the rocks, but Alec could not put his finger on it. _

_"Only a fragment of his life. No more." he stopped to turn back in case he was followed but saw nothing but the road he came from._

_"You are nothing." the voice echoed. "Nothing" Alec ignored the voice. To think that whatever horror awaits him intended to psychologically hurt him. _

_"Words are just words, as Nephilim are just mortals." Alec raised an eyebrow, the voice was getting somewhere with this. _

_"Demons are mortal too." he called back lazily. Two can play the game, and it wasn't as if he had any other company besides the voice._

_"But warlocks are not." the voice replied. Alec could see the end of the road. A wall made out of vines had erected in the middle of the path, filled with oddly colored flowers, but it wasn't until Alec was close till he realised that it wasn't flowers which decorated the vine wall, it was corpses. Corpses of humans and werewolves, faeries and warlocks, each binded to the wall with more vines. Vines around the wrists and waist and around the neck, the corpses stretched out like a starfish. As Alec got closer he realised the first corpse in front of him was a Shadowhunter. Dressed in the conventional black Shadowhunter gear, it was a man. Not any man. It was Alec himself. A deep gash split his lungs and his right leg was twisted, broken, and his left arm looked dead, a strange object lodged right below his shoulder. He took a step back and looked to the corpse next to his, the only other corpse next to his. His corpse seemed to be the latest addition to the wall, for when he looked left he could see the wall with endless numbers of corpses but on the right there were only vines. It was as though the wall was still awaiting more corpses to join the rest, for whatever sick twisted reason. _

_The corpse on his left was of a vampire woman, with beautiful golden locks and slim body, but her throat had been torn out. Alec squinted to see past her bloodied face when he realised who she was. It was Camille Belcourt. Distantly he could hear a voice coming closer from the far left of the wall. This time it was Magnus himself. A shadow of a creature stood next to Magnus and they walked down the wall, passing the corpses. Magnus was pointing to each one and saying something to the shadow creature, and Alec could barely hear it. _

_"... This one was after the first World War, bold little thing who wanted me to run away with her." Magnus explained to shadow creature. Alec could see Magnus clearly now, and lost the previous urge to run to him. Magnus looked distant and cold, not to mention that there was blood running down from the corner of his mouth. _

_"Oh look over there! That's the latest one! Sweet shy thing, got with him when Valentine supposedly risen from his grave." Magnus pointed at him when he caught his eye. Alecs' eyes widened with horror. These corpses weren't just any corpses, these were Magnus' past lovers, from the World War I girl to Camille Belcourt all these people used to date Magnus before._

_"Funny," Magnus tilted his head to look at Alec. "I remember this one being dead." he turned to the shadow creature. "Get him!" The shadow was like a dog, running towards him and ready to pounce. Alec tried to reach for a seraph blade but he had none. In fact he had no weapons at all. On first instinct he reached up to grab the foreign object buried in his left arm. It must be sharp, he thought as he yanked it loose. To his horror it was a fang. A charcoal black fang which made Alec feel weak and... Dead. The shadow creature was approaching and somehow the fang was moving closer to his neck. _

_"Remember who you were." the voice, the dark voice echoed in his mind, and at that moment the fang pierced itself into Alecs' left arm. He screamed._

He sat up so fast he was dizzy, the blood from his head flowing downwards almost too fast. He was panting, sweating through his shirt. He took off his shirt and rubbed his arm. There was no scar there. No fang pierced through it. No poison coursed through his veins and no gash split his lungs in half. It was a bad dream. A bad dream and nothing more, but before this all his dreams had been memories. He fell back to his pillow and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to claim him again. He was in his room back in the institute, after Isabelle had insisted that he came home. She met no resistance as Magnus thought the same way. Alec needed to be reacquainted with his home and family, as he had to be familiarized with the Shadowhunter side of him again. To add to that the Silent Brothers had to perform the protection ritual again to Alec, since he was reborn, and Magnus was not allowed in the Silent City. If Alecs' absence was unnerving to Magnus in any way he hid it well, giving him a kiss on the temple when they left. Isabelle had linked arms with Alec, refusing to let go as they left, and Jace and Clary had made their brief introductions.

"I know I would probably be the hardest to remember, since the only joy in your life is my presence but we have lots of time." Jace joked, earning him a glare from Magnus. Magnus seemed to glare at him alot.

Isabelle was the nicest sister in the world, or that was what Alec thought. His sister had been bringing him breakfast in bed since he came back and offered to do his laundry for him, which Alec thought it was a nice notion. Jace told Alec that Isabelle doesn't actually cook breakfast, or else Alec would be dead, again, but Jace left out the last part. Until Brother Zachariah gave them the thumbs up to tell Alec what actually happened all of them had been careful not to mention anything about it. Jace commented that they may never get to tell Alec because Brother Zachariah would never give 'thumbs ups''. Simon reckoned the Silent Brother would flip the bird if Jace kept talking. It was Jaces' turn to glare now, at Simon. Simon had taken the whole 'Alec risen from the dead' matter very calmly, like he had seen resurrections every day. It's all the fantasy he's indulged in, Clary once said, it makes him believe anything can happen, and ever since he turned vamp he has a strong belief that anything is possible.

"I thought they only brought back the annoying ones like Jace to make all our lives miserable again, but looks like there is balance in the world. The light shall prevail, or Lightwood in this case." he said, chuckling. That's two glares from Jace now.

"No Isabelle, I don't want to get up today. I died. Leave me alone." Alec groaned as he heard the door creak open. He pulled his blanket over his head and lay flat. Isabelle had awakened him every morning for breakfast, then to train with Jace or visit some restaurant they always went to. Taki's, the place was called. It seemed like the waitress knew Alec, and this time Alec knew who she was too. He only forgot the ones close to him, it may seem. Today he just wanted to melt into his bed and not get up for any reason. He wasn't upset in any way he just didn't feel like doing anything that day.

"Your deception may fool your sister but I am far wiser to fall for that." It wasn't Isabelle who was at the door, it was Magnus. Magnus leaned at the door frame and looked at the bundle of Shadowhunter under the blankets. Upon hearing Magnus' voice, Alec pushed the covers off his face.

"Magnus? What are you doing in my room?" Alec opened his eyes and sat up slowly, gathering the covers over his shirtless chest.

"Simon has taken Isabelle to some nerdy wonderland. I have Alec Duty today." Magnus shrugged.

"Isa-Isabelle is out? I-I don't need anyone to take care of me." Alec tripped and stumbled over his words shyly. He hadn't talked to Magnus much since the day in his apartment, and he surely hasn't talked to Magnus alone. In his room. Shirtless.

"Oh how you break my heart pretty sir, a subtler rejection would've been more called for." Magnus sighed dramatically before smirking at Alec. Alec blushed and wanted to sink and return to melting in his bed. Magnus made butterflies flutter in his chest and flushed his cheeks like a blushing maid. Alec turned away and tried to get out of his bed, pulling his covers with him. "Alright princess I won't look. You don't need to drag the whole blanket to the bathroom." Magnus chuckled and turned on his heel to face outside. Magnus dipped his head and exhaled, smiling. If Alec wasn't as shy as he was, Magnus would doubt him. Being shy was one of Alecs' trademark personalities, which came hand in hand with his element of surprise. Alec had crept up behind him and placed a kiss on his cheek before hurrying into the bathroom. Magnus smile widened, but he didn't bother turning back. He knew Alec wouldn't know how to explain himself if he asked. That was the beauty of Alexander Lightwood, Magnus could feel how genuine his actions were by the shyness he portrayed while doing them. Oh how he missed Alexander. The nights were chilly and empty without him and Chairman Meow was hardly company. The cat was almost too small to snuggle with. Ever since Alec had gone Magnus hadn't been with anyone else, literally. He hadn't even made contact with anyone. No clients, customers, offers or parties could bring him out of mourning. He only interacted with waitresses and salespeople. Once he even booked reservations for two at a restaurant and sat there alone to face the fact straight in his face: Alec wasn't there anymore. There was no more Alec. Somehow with the return of Alec another part of him has woken up besides his sanity- his primal urges. But that could wait for now. He would celibate for as long as he needed until Alec was ready, because face it. Magnus Bane could wait forever.

However, waiting outside Alecs' room seemed like forever, and Magnus decided that lying down spread eagle on Alecs' bed was a better idea. His bed was comfortable. Fluffy pillows and soft sheets and it smelled just like Alexander. Magnus allowed himself to shut his eyes for awhile to indulge in the scent and soft covers around him. He heard the toilet door connecting to Alec's room click open and Magnus opened a single eye to look at him. Alec was dressed in a charcoal grey T-Shirt and denim jeans. That boy really needed a better sense of fashion but that could wait. Unexpectedly, Alec put a knee on the bed and swung himself over so he was straddling Magnus, and the warlock sat up to meet his lips halfway.

"Mm." Magnus growled playfully in his throat as Alec tangled his hand in Magnus' hair, deepening the kiss. The warlock pushed himself upwards by his elbows to close the distance between their bodies, but Alec pushed him down again, allowing himself to lie on Magnus' chest. They were kissing like the old times, where their lips will rub against each other perfectly and their tongues will explore the others' mouths, tasting, licking, adding on the vibration of the guttural growls from their throats. When their lips met fireworks went off, Alec was sure of it. Magnus' hands lay locked behind Alecs' waist while his partners' hands were unsure of where to be placed. Alec roamed Magnus' body with his hand from his hair, gently gliding to his neck, down the side of of his body ever so slightly as though he was afraid it wasn't allowed. Upon sensing this, Magnus unhooked his hands around Alecs' waist and placed them over the boys' hands, guiding them to move around his body more firmly. Alec moved his hands up and down Magnus' body before returning to cup his boyfriends' face, unconsciously grinding his hips in circles for friction.

"Sweet Lilith," Magnus broke free of the kiss panting. Alec stared at him wide eyed and unsure of what he done wrong. "Baby if you keep doing that things may go out of hand." Magnus placed his hands on Alecs' hips. Alec raised an eyebrow.

"You mean..." Alec grinded his hips again, causing Magnus to throw his head back and hiss.

"Bad boy." he chastised, before turning them over so Magnus lay on top of Alec.

"Not today, sayang. You're not ready yet." he said.

"H-How would you know...?" Alec asked, uncertain. Magnus gave him a 'you really want to know?' look before reaching a hand down to rub his inner thigh. Alec jerked his leg upon contact. He blushed furiously. Magnus got off the bed.

"Come on now we have a movie to catch." Magnus stretched out a hand to Alec. Alec held on to it and together they made their way to some strange foreign movie theater a few blocks away. It was an old french movie, one with obviously faked deaths with fake blood almost spraying out of the falling victim. The worst part of the movie was that there were no subtitles so Alec had no idea what the whole movie was about save the times Magnus actually translated some of it for him.

"Jacques, the man with the big nose. I mean the biggest nose the one next to the cabinet is actually the father of Madmoiselle Jennifers' baby and not Van Blauport over here and Van Blauport is trying to tell Jenny that he had never had sex with her-" At that moment the lady in the screen looked at Jacques who rubbed his nose with his index finger, and her mouth fell open in shock. "-and she realised she actually did it with Jacques that night because you'd remember if you were a woman and that nose was up your-" Magnus chuckled, sparing Alec the mental image. The lady in the screen screamed and crumbled to the floor clutching her belly crying.

"Wow, really? What's wrong with Jacques?"

"Nothing sweetheart I just made all this up, Van Blauport just told Jenny her brother had died but hes' actually disguised as Jacques and sweet Jenny hear is supposed to feint shock. Alec hit him as Magnus laughed. Alec asked him again if it were true and Magnus nodded, saying that you couldn't go on for very long in life without learning French because many good things come from France. "Anyway, Français est séduisante, mon cher." Magnus purred into Alecs' ear.

"Alright, no more French. Two hours of it was more than my healthy dosage for the day." Alec grinned, halfheartedly trying to push Magnus who was trying to nibble at his earlobe away.

"Go fuck yourselves gay cunts!" a voice from the top of the movie theater shouted down. The theater was quite empty save a few couples sitting away from each other and some people who were sitting alone.

"First of all we have no cunts, it'll make things a lot easier if we do, and seeing that you're alone and we have each other how about you fuck yourself and we'll fuck each other, thank you for the reminder." Magnus turned his head and called out to the man who cursed at them. "Why the red face sweet cheeks? Your hand rejecting yourself again?" Alec was blushing even more now, and some of the audience had stifled giggles in their seats. "COME ON ALEXANDER!" Magnus stood up and stretched out his hand for Alec to hold "LET'S GO SOMEWHERE WE DON'T HAVE TO HEAR THIS MAN FIGHT WITH HIS PARTNER BECAUSE HE DIDN'T GET A PROPER HANDJOB THIS MORNING!" He yelled so everyone in the cinema could hear him, and as they trotted down the stairs holding hands to the exit some of them even started clapping. Being the flamboyant attention lover he is, Magnus stood right in front of the screen to take his bow before leaving with his Shadowhunter. Upon reaching outside of the cinema they burst out in laughter. They had ice cream and sandwiches for lunch as they sat on the grass in the park, and then got scolded by old ladies for supposedly dry humping publicly. In conclusion it was a very good day. As a good boyfriend Magnus had dropped Alec home just before dinner for Jace to open the door. Thank goodness it was Jace and not Isabelle. Isabelle would have been furious. Magnus would have willingly stayed with Alec until after dinner, but he had other matters to attend to.

..

"Magnus, sweetheart it's been too long." a woman said in a low sultry voice, extending a hand out.

"Three hundred years and beautiful as I remember, Darlessa" the man replied, and took her hand to kiss. Darlessa wasn't like most warlocks. She had an exceptionally long monkeys' tail and blood red irises that changed according to her mood, and the hand which Magnus kissed was decorated with golden fish scales which covered her entire right arm, a shoulder and a breast. Magnus would know that very well. Where there were no scales smooth alabaster skin could be found, stretched delicately across her high angular cheekbones leading up to her dark raven hair which she wore in a high 60's hairstyle for this ocassion. Darlessa Harclay, or formerly Duchess Darlessa of Cambridge, but that was a handful of centuries ago. She was a woman of immense beauty, which she wielded and used it as her power.

Magnus pulled out the heavy wooden chair for Darlessa to sit in before returning to his own seat opposite of her. Magnus had tracked down the warlock woman and contacted her, with the intention of wanting to seek help from her. He had told her to meet at the most expensive restaurant in Brooklyn, and there she showed up. Magnus was very careful about his choices in attire and venue for he had to impress her should he want her help, but also balance it with the fact that he couldn't put himself to rely on her. Darlessa Harclay was not the type of person which you would be wise to put yourself in debt to, for after 700 years of existence a woman such as herself has learned how to manipulate friends and foes for her benefit. She had a mouth as sweet as honey and a tongue as sharp as a knife. That was the answer as to why Magnus knew her right breast was scaled, and also the answer as to why he hasn't seen it in over 300 years.

"So, how may I help you?" she asked the moment they were both seated. Her posture was perfect and her head never lowered for anything or anyone. It gave her the air of superiority over most, or at least the idea of it.

"No small talk, no stories, nothing? The years have made you very straightforward, Darl." Magnus tried to loosen up the tension, to at least get to know her a bit more before he blindly put his problems on her shoulders.

"And the years have made you anything _but_ straight, love." Darlessa raised a long eyebrow at Magnus. He cleaned up for the occasion but could not resist the eye liner or the light gloss on his lips.

"All the better to resist you, my dear." Magnus replied, feeding her just what she wanted to hear. Darlessa loved the thought of everyone being in love with her, and more often than not her thoughts were reality. Her eyes turned from red to orange, and Magnus knew she couldn't hold her guard up for long. After all, Magnus Bane was the only person who had ever left her first, and although she commended his willpower her pride had been shattered. On the outside she may play the one who does not care but no one forgets their first heartbreak.

Darlessa chuckled. Even when she laughed it was like a sweet melody, but Magnus had no intention of being seduced any time soon. "If I were really trying anything, your resistance is nothing. Now, what can Lady Harclay do for one Magnus Bane?" she was eager to know. Of course she was. Magnus Bane would be the last person who would come to her for help unless he's desperate, and desperate people trip and fall and stumble. That would be a pretty sight to seee. Magnus Bane stumbling. Magnus had no choice. Darlessa was an expert on demon curses or spells. Privately Magnus thought Darlessa was more than half demon. She would know how to sever the tie between his father and his lover, and Magnus would pay so much for it.

"I need to know how to cut someone from Apollyons' strings, permanently."

"Ooh, daddy's got your pet on a leash? This is yummy. Tell me more." Darlessa leaned forward and narrowed her eyes.

"It's this client." Magnus lied. "Somehow he was resurrected, and the family wants to make sure he won't die again after the three sixes." Darlessa would know all this, he thought. She's testing me.

"Client, Magnus? Or lover? Fool me not sweetheart, I know how your daddy lets you bring your pets back to life. All you need is a little... Love." she tilted her head to the side, whispering the last word. Magnus looked at her, unblinking. He could be testing her too she wouldn't know.

"I can help you, of course, but there's a price to pay." she licked the top half of her lips slowly, her irises turning from orange to black. Black was bad. Black meant lust. Magnus hoped he could pay her off with money, but before he could say anything he felt a furry rope snaking up his thighs between his legs, Darlessas' tail. He fought the urge to jump out of his chair.

"What do you want?" he asked casually.

"Send your boy away, take me to your home and I'll make you want me more than anything in this world. After that if you still want to save your mortal then I'll tell him myself what he must do, and I'll tell him what you did to pay for it." her tail was rubbing along his zipper now but Magnus couldn't waver now. He stood up abruptly to get away from the tail and then walked to Darlessa, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I loved you once, Darlessa, long time ago, and that is the only mistake I'm willing to make regarding you. Nice meeting you sweetheart." he was about to stand straight to leave when Darlessa grabbed his chin and pulled him down so their faces were inches away from each other.

"You'll need me, Mag, one way or another, one day or another. We were meant to be you and I. Mortals are just mortals. Why save them when they just die off anyway? But since you're so keen to save this one, I have another piece of advice; only death pays for life. You know what to do." she smirked, and then kissed Magnus lightly on the lips and sent him off. Magnus had expected as much from Darlessa, but a question lingered inside his head like poison in the air.

_Why save them when they just die off anyway?_

..

Alec could feel his memories returning to him slowly, the more he saw the more he knew. He was lucky his fighting skills had not deteriorated as much as everyone was afraid it might. He could shoot a bulls' eye after five shots in archery, and he could still slice the head off a dummy with a chakram blindfolded. Even so, Alec still felt empty somehow. He could not put a finger on it but somewhere in his soul he was lacking something- happiness. He was more than satisfied with his current condition at home, but when he closed his eyes he hadn't truly felt happiness in his life. He remembered it as smiles and laughter, but he could not remember what made him so happy at that time. He couldn't remember why Jaces' jokes had made him laugh, or why Church rolling on the floor was such a delightful sight to see. He could remember happiness but not the reason behind it. Worst of all, he could not remember why he fell in love with Magnus.

At night his dreams tormented him with Magnus, made the warlock a terrible monster to fear, but what had made Alec so afraid was not Magnus threatening to kill him every other night, it was that Magnus made him feel like he was nothing. The voice did, actually. The dark gravelly whisper had been surrounding him like mist every dream, turning his thoughts against himself, twisting his memories into nightmares. Alec had fought to claim all that the voice said was false, but what proof did he have that the voice was wrong. It was only the belief that all demons were liars which had him standing to defend Magnus, but what has Magnus ever done to be worth defending. He was only a boyfriend to Alec, a partner, a friend.

_He walked down the same forest road, dark and silent save the voice around him. _

_"Back for more?" the voice mocked. _

_"It's not like you've given me a choice." Alec replied bitterly, but the voice seemed to beging cackling with laughter._

_"You can always go back, Nephilim." the voice stated, and Alec stopped in his tracks. He could go back, back to where he came from. He never thought about it. He turned back now, it was bright, like a light at the end of the tunnel. _

_"You'd like that won't you? Me, listening to you for once." _

_"For once? You listen to me all the time, child." the voice hissed. "I see everything, even your hearts' doubt. You've been listening and absorbed it." Alec bowed his head guiltily. He had considered the voices words. _

_"Who are you?" _

_"I have many names, Destroyer, Deceiver, Angel of Light... Father." the word hung heavy in the air. _

_"And there you are going on about how I should listen to you when you are dubbed 'Deceiver'."_

_"That is where you fault, Nephilim. I do not request of you to heed me, nor do I lie to you."_

_"You speak but you don't want me to listen. You deceive but you do not lie. Demon tongue must be hard to master." _

_The demon chuckled. "How about you see for yourself." At that moment Alec felt a rough push on his back and he stumbled forward and continued walking towards the darkness. What would await him at the end this time? As he walked he felt heavier in a way, like suddenly his Shadowhunter gear had gained a few pounds of weight, when he turned back he could see a dress train behind him and when he turned back again the forest was gone and he was in a mansion. It was old fashioned, with tapestries from the 17th century, and Magnus was in front of him with a boy on a cot in the middle of the hall. Magnus was talking to him although he could not hear the words, and apparently he was talking back. He knew he was not himself, for his peripheral vision was lower than usual. He was shorter and he could feel hair tumbling down his shoulders. When he turned to look at a brass dish mounted on the walls he saw a woman looking back. Not any woman. It was Camille Belcourt once more. He was Camille. Magnus' voice brought him back to the situation._

_"I don't need you anymore, Camille. I have Will now." he let the boy on the cot lean on his shoulders as he helped him stand up. The boy was handsome, with raven black hair and dark blue eyes like the night sky. He even looked a bit like Alec the way his hair was tousled. As he stood up Alec could see a rune on the back of his neck. Making their way through the door Alec could see the boys face twist and turn until it moulded into a copy of Alecs' own face. _

_"Help!" the boy cried weakly but Magnus continued hauling him off. _

_"HELP!" _he jolted awake this time, panting, shooting up from the bed. Magnus snapped his fingers and a lamp turned on.

"Alec?" he murmured softly, slowly opening his eyes. He knew his eyes shone in the darkness and it was startling to him sometimes, so he had made sure to turn on the lights at night.

"Magnus." he sighed and lay down on Magnus chest. He was so tired of all the dreams and nightmares and the mini heart attacks he got every time he woke up. He was at Magnus' now, and he had a very sweet night. Magnus had cooked him dinner which they ate snuggled on a couch watching Project Runway like old times until Alec shut the television off, insisting that Magnus told him everything. The warlock chuckled and pulled Alec into his chest, and told him about their trip around the world. He only told Alec the good things and the memorable, and even conjured the photo album he made from the whole trip. Alec felt whole with Magnus around him, and he loved the stories his partner told. Later that night Magnus offered to sleep in a conjured bed but Alec only tightened his embrace around Magnus' waist. He wasn't willing to be separated from the comfort which was Magnus.

"_Sayang_, you're sweating." Magnus brushed some hair from Alecs' forehead. There was another thing with that word, '_sayang_'. It made Alec blush and want to giggle like a little girl. It felt very flattering when Magnus called him that.

"Bad dream." Alec groaned, listening to Magnus' steady heartbeat. It was slower than mundanes' and Shadowhunters' but it was soothing.

"Stay here. I'm going to make you some ice cream soda." Magnus gently lifted Alecs' head to place back on the pillow.

"Ice cream soda? Now?" It was the dead of night. Ice cream at this time was.. _Odd_.

"I would offer you hot cocoa but you're more than hot enough already." Magnus chuckled before he slid off the bed, walking to the kitchen in his multicolored spiral patterned boxers.

Alec slowly closed his eyes again and tried to relax. _"I don't need you anymore, Camille. I have Will now." dream Magnus tilted his head and opened his mouth, a river of blood washing out from it. "Remember who you were." the dark voice said again._

Alecs' eyes shot open, his heart pounding. He got out of bed and found Magnus in the kitchen scooping ice cream, his back facing Alec. Alec went over and put his arms around Magnus' waist, pressing his face against his shoulder.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? I can feel your heart pounding through my back." he turned his head to the side to look at the boy leaning against his shoulder.

"Nightmares, just nightmares." Alec sighed into Magnus' shirt. Magnus sighed along with him. Since his encounter with Darlessa, he had deepened his research about Apollyon. Yes, Apollyon. Magnus has since refused to acknowledge him as his father. Logically, if Darlessa could find a way out, why couldn't he? _Unless the scaly bitch was lying_. Still, there was hope, and the deeper Magnus dug the less he enjoyed the things he knew. Nightmares were the devils' messengers, and there was no better way to do it than corrupting sweet rest with his own poison. That way he could tell Alec anything without actually having to do much, just toying with his mind. Apollyon wouldn't even need to lift a finger. Magnus moved so he was facing Alec, placing his arms around his waist.

"Do you want to talk about them?" Magnus asked softly, their faces inches apart. Alec could feel the warmth of the warlocks' body but shivered when he brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. Alec set his eyes downcast and shook his head. He couldn't tell Magnus he dreamed bad dreams about him, that every night the tormentor was the one who was looking at him right now.

Alec shook his head slowly. Of course he doesn't want to talk about it, they both know what it was about. Instead, Alec put his head in the crook of Magnus' neck and hugged him tight, breathing slowly. Magnus knew what Alec felt. He felt scared. Terrified like a boy. There was nothing which could undo a grown man to be reduced to a child than his own nightmares. Nightmares were a childs' curse, a lesson to warn them to always be guarded, even in times of rest, but a childs' curse were for children. Adults getting nightmares are usually haunted by the past or by demons. Magnus rocked them slowly, vowing to himself that he will find a way, alone or with help he will find a way.

"This is stupid, I'm being stupid. Dreams shouldn't scare me." Alec mumbled weakly into Magnus' neck.

"Dreams don't scare us. Nightmares do, and if they didn't they'll be out of a job, wouldn't they?" Magnus chuckled.

"You're even treating me like a child." Alec sighed. They were speaking in whispers now, so close to each other that they need not even raise their voices.

"Say, when you had nightmares as a child, what were you supposed to do with them?"

"I don't know... Forget?"

"Yes," Magnus pulled Alec off his neck and cupped his face. "Forget." he tilted his head and kissed Alec on the lips. It started with a soft press of the lips, tender and affectionate, light movement of their lips and the slight tilt of the heads to increase the wonderful feeling. Then, Alecs' hands slid up to snake around Magnus' neck to pull him impossibly closer, and in hand Magnus tightened his arms around Alecs' waist, their chests pressed flushed against each other. Magnus' tongue slid out to prod at Alecs' lips to part, and Alec did, pressing his own tongue into the cavern of Magnus' mouth, licking and reveling in the soft wet feeling of his partners tongue. They were perfect for one another, fit perfectly like two jigsaw pieces ready to melt into each other. Suddenly, just kissing wasn't enough. Suddenly, Alec wanted more. He tangled his fingers into Magnus' hair and walked forward slowly until Magnus hit the kitchen table with the back of his thighs. Magnus smirked into the kiss, his hands moving to cup Alecs' perfect arse and lifting him up. Alec gasped and almost pulled away but Magnus refused to break the kiss. Instinctively Alec hooked his legs behind Magnus' back as the warlock stumbled to balance himself and the Shadowhunter he was carrying till they reached back to the bedroom. He gently laid Alec and himself down as Alec sucked on his lower lip but Alec never let go of the death grip his legs had around Magnus' waist. Instead he rocked them from side to side, creating the most delicious friction where he just needed it. Magnus broke the kiss panting heavily. His body, his mind and his crotch were on fire. The first two from the sensation of kissing Alec, the latter from lack of sensation. Magnus sat up awkwardly with Alecs' legs still hooked around his waist and pulled off his own shirt, since Alec didn't bother to sleep with one. Alec lazily dragged a hand from the centre of Magnus' abdomen where his navel should be up till he brushed a hardening nipple. Magnus grabbed his hand by the wrist.

"Alec.." he panted, lying back down on Alecs' bare chest, kissing the side of his neck. "We shouldn't." he sighed, his breath tickling Alecs' soft skin. Instead of replying Alec rolled them over so he was on top, kissing Magnus again. No talking. The words hanged silently obvious in between them. Alec broke the kiss to fumble about Magnus' boxers, pulling them down in a swift movement after he found his waist band. Magnus' half hard erection sprang out of his boxers, and Alec took a moment just to gape at it.

"Alec." Magnus tried again, but Alec took his time to look at him. He started looking up from between Magnus' thighs, up to the V shaped dip of his hips which defined his hip bones so well. He traced the lines of his muscles slowly, Magnus' heaving chest distracting him slightly. Surprisingly, it was Magnus who was blushing now. Alec just hovered over his body staring at it. He ought to feel flattered but Alec was just fixating on every single detail of him with such awe and amazement that it humbled him. Alecs' breath caught in his throat, mesmerized by Magnus' body. He never took the time to stop and look, almost too shy to most of the time. Now he had Magnus laid out for him, bare as the day he was born, and he was beautiful. His body finally lead back to his collar bones and Magnus could swear Alecs' bright blue eyes shone in the dark as well when their glances met. It triggered something in him, and he sat up so fast he almost crashed into Alecs' lips, the fire igniting between the both of them. For some time they kissed and licked and touched each other right about everywhere, claiming the others' skin with their gropes and brushes. At some point between almost rolling off the bed and Magnus grabbing at Alecs' arse, Alecs' boxers came off with a loud ripping of the fabric, rubbing their bare erections against each other. Alec hissed at the contact, his mouth falling open and his head falling back onto the soft pillows as Magnus kissed his way down his neck, making prominent love bites at sensitive spots. When he started sucking on a nipple, Alecs' legs jerked so suddenly he almost pushed Magnus off, but Alec kept his hands on Magnus' shoulders so he wouldn't stop.

Magnus was a terrible tease. He would kiss Alec all the way down to his hip bone then lick back up to his navel. The time he actually got past his hip he would kiss Alecs' inner thigh, but his lips never touched his aching cock. Alec was bucking his hips upwards frantically by now, new to the desperate feeling of having his little problem unattended to. _'Little' would be insulting it_, Magnus thought.

"Magnus.." Alec said behind gritted teeth. Magnus looked up and smiled at him like he didn't know that something was wrong. "Sayang?" he purred, his index finger lightly tracing a bulging vein on his erection.

"Fuc-Ohh. Fuck me." Alec panted.

"You sure?"

"By the Angel baby just do it. Please." Alec cried out. Magnus hoped he didn't regret this decision. He snapped his fingers to conjure a bottle of lube, and Alec lifted his legs to allow him access. He squeezed a generous amount of lubricant on his fingers.

"You need to relax, alright?" he said before pressing a finger through his tight entrance. Alec tensed at first at the intrusion but the lube eased the passage of Magnus' finger, and he slid it out slightly to test it. When he added a second finger, he pushed it in right up to the knuckle and curled it slightly. Alec moaned so loudly he covered his mouth with his hand in shock. His silence didn't last for long, because Magnus was pumping his fingers in and out of his tight hole, somehow hitting that same spot harder every time. Alec began to shift his hips to create the rhythm by himself. Moaning wantonly as he fucked himself on Magnus' fingers. He could feel his own groin aching from the noises Alec was making. Those delicious noises he could hear while lying down with his eyes close touching himself, but his job was to make Alec feel good, and that was what he would do. Alec whimpered when Magnus withdrew his fingers to lubricate his own cock, moaning softly at the wet feeling. He moved clumsily to position himself at Alec's puckered hole, raising a leg to place over his shoulder. Thank goodness the Shadowhunter was flexible. Magnus could push his leg all the way down until he was face to face with Alec.

"This is going to hurt." he warned Alec, but Alec simply nodded that he knew. His other hand on his cock, Magnus pressed himself slowly through the ring of muscle, kissing Alec at the same time. He moved slowly, but tried to draw Alecs' attention to the kiss instead of the pain. The lubricant had eased the passage by a bit, but it still hurt. He was just so tight the warlock could've almost came when he entered him. It had been too long since he had felt this way. Alec broke the kiss to groan aloud, either in pain or in pleasure, but he clawed at Magnus' back, as if begging him to go deeper. The groan soon turned into a loud moan which was followed by breathless, heavy pants. Magnus had hit Alecs' prostrate. He didn't try to pull out just yet, allowing Alec to stretch to his size.

"Move baby please, move." Alec moaned, and Magnus obeyed, biting on his bottom lip. He was going to lose it very soon. How was it that he managed not to wank for the past six weeks? He thrust slowly at first, hitting Alecs' prostrate with every hard thrust, but he soon sat up so he could wrap his fist around the others cock, pumping it as he fucked his boyfriend. Alec had his head lolled back, his mouth open as he moaned at every thrust, grunting as Magnus built speed and pounded into him relentlessly, the sensation of his prostrate being hit and his cock being stroked driving him into sensory overload. At one point Alec had began clawing at the bed sheets, his chest heaving heavily as the bed rocked beneath him creaking. Magnus had lasted long enough, his lower lip swollen from biting on with it so hard. Magnus gave Alec one last hard stroke and the boy came loudly, thrashing around in the sheets and screaming Magnus' name as he hit climax. His arse clenched around Magnus' cock and he came right after, thrusting almost violently as he spilled spurt after spurt of milky come into Alec, screaming Alexanders' name.

He slowly pulled his flaccid cock out of Alec and somehow managed to crawl next to him to lie down. Both of them were covered by a fine sheen of sweat, panting heavily. That was some explosive mind blowing sex.

"We are so doing that again some time." Alec panted out.

"Some time, anytime, every time, love." Magnus replied, equally breathless. Alec turned and snuggled himself to the side of Magnus body, making himself comfortable.

"I love you, Magnus Bane." Alec said softly.

"Aku cinta kamu juga, sayang."

..

_There was a simple wooden table at the end of the road, with two chairs around it. One chair has already been occupied, a dark smoky silhouette of a tall lean man. It had no defined edges or curves, it just gave the impression that it was the shape of a man. _

_"Come sit, Alexander." the dark voice said. The silhouette beckoned at him but the voice did not come out from his mouth. He did not have a mouth, and yet, the voice and the silhouette were one. Alec pulled the other chair to sit on, distancing himself between the silhouette and himself._

_"What is it this time? More dead corpses, potions or death?" Alec drawled._

_"Help." Alec raised an eyebrow. _

_"Help. What makes you think I'll help you?"_

_"Alexander, I'm trying to offer help to you." the voice hissed arrogantly._

_"Why would I need your help?" _

_"You want the dreams to stop, don't you?"_

_"Then this isn't a help, is it? It's one of the situations where you hurt me with something then force me to buy your cure because it's the only thing that works." Alec said accusingly._

_"More or less the same." the silhouette shrugged. Alec sighed._

_"What do you want?" Alec asked reluctantly._

_"To help you,"_

_"If you want to bloody help me then give me my sleep back. Stop these dreams" Alec growled impatiently._

_"How do I stop something I did not start in the first place?" the silhouette placed an elbow on the table and rested his head on his palm._

_"What the hell are you talking about?"_

_"You think me master of your nightmares, Alexander, but I am not."_

_"Well then riddle me this, smoky, if you don't have anything to do with these dreams how are you here in them with me right now?"_

_"I am help sent."_

_"Fuck your help."_

_"Well then fuck your life." the voice replied elegantly. Alec snorted._

_"Why now? Why not since the moment we met."_

_"I have been trying to help the moment we met. I told you to remember who you were. I told you to turn and go back. But no, you never listened. Then I started giving you more dreams but you still didn't get the message."_

_"You just said you weren't responsible for them. You see why I can't trust you."_

_"Some of the mild dreams were from me. The blood curdling scream invoking ones were all from there." the silhouette pointed at Alecs' forehead._

_"Bullshit. Why would I give myself dreams?"_

_"As a warning. Many warnings, in fact. Your memory is lost, you are clueless, but the subconscious remembers. It never forgets and it's warning you now."_

_"About.. Magnus?" his dreams were never about anything else._

_"Finally, he's catching on." the voice mocked. "Ever wondered why Magnus never told you anything about how you lost your memory? He always tells you beautiful things but what of the ugly. Do you know how you lost it?" Alec shook his head._

_"Lucky Magnus, then."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I can't tell you. You have to hear him admit it himself." the voice replied_

_"So, the help you're offering me is to interrogate Magnus?"_

_"No. I'm asking you to forget Magnus. Forget Magnus like before then hate him after. He won't hurt you if you're away from him."_

_"But why? And I can't forget him, I just can't."_

_"Because that's just how Magnus Bane works." the voice chuckled darkly. "Oh child, you can always... Pretend." the silhouette stood up and pressed two fingers to Alecs' forehead._

..

Alec jerked awake, gathering the sheets to cover his bare chest. He looked around the room but he was alone, somewhere.

"Good morning sayang!" Magnus called out sweetly, but Alec furrowed his brows.

"W-who are you?" Alec was breathing heavily now, his eyes wide open, panicking. He stumbled to get out of the bed, dragging the blankets with him while trying to stay as far as he could from Magnus.

"Ah fuck." Magnus cursed, scratching his head.

* * *

A/N: A penny for your thoughts: Does Alec really not remember who Magnus is or is he just pretending? Tell me how the chapter was for you (:

Thanks for reading x  
C-ish


	3. Winter (ii)

When the Sun Sets in the East  
Chapter 3: Winter (ii)

"If winter comes, can spring be far behind?"  
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

I'm sorry.

* * *

The daylight shone in through a crack in the blinds, right below his cheek. He stirred at the warmth and brightness, and his eyelids slowly fluttered open. He felt groggy at first, his mind still asleep as well as his body. He turned lazily to the side and peeked at the alarm clock. The digital clock showed 10:36 on the time. He sat up slowly and stretched, yawning as he did. He had slept through the night, and it was beautiful. He smiled coyly to nobody as he fell back onto his pillow, his eyes wide open now. He stretched his arms out to cover the whole bed when he realized it.

He was alone.

There was a strange hollow feeling about it, like something was supposed to be there, but he didn't know, no, he dare not know about it. He looked to the side at the emptiness next to him. No warmth being radiated, no weight of another pressing on the covers. Nothing. He sat up again and rubbed his eyes. What has he done? He blinked several times to remove the blurness from his vision. _He remembered._

..

"Fugkhinell" Magnus growled angrily. Somehow the blinds were open and the morning sun shone in his room at maximum glare.

"_Wakey wakey isen bakey_!" a velvet voice sang. Fuck. Magnus cursed internally. There was only one person in existence who had that voice. Magnus cracked open a slit in his eye angrily.

Darlessa Harclay.

"Okay I'm ready to wake up now take me away from this nightmare! I repent my sins just take me away from this hell!" he mocked in a low mumbled tone.

He shut his eye back and turned to a side, pulling his covers over his head. Darlessa tilted his head to the side, folding her arms in front of her, waiting. It took Magnus a moment, but he soon sat up, pulling his knees to his chest. He rubbed his eyes with one hand.

"What the fuck are you doing in my apartment, woman?" he growled, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

"_Woman_ now is it? Not the reaction most men would have when they find a me at the edge of their beds."

"I'm not like most men." he replied bluntly, finally raising his head to look at her. She wore a bright red and yellow sun dress which had thick straps and a sweetheart neckline. Darlessa has not changed her fashion sense since the 60's, nor would she ever wear anything which couldn't allow her to spread her legs wide open.

"Indeed you aren't. I don't prefer, most men."

"Should I be flattered?"

"You should be surprised. In case my little sleepyhead hasn't realized, I am in your apartment."

"Well Hallelujah! You didn't take me somewhere else and changed it to look like my apartment." Magnus mocked. Darlessa rolled her eyes in slight irritation.

"Not a morning person, are we?"

"You certainly are. I prefer to wake up not blinded by sunlight." Magnus slid his legs off his bed so they touched the ground, and he stretched his arms. Shirtless, Darlessa could see the sunlight bouncing off the curves of muscle of his bronzed skin. He ran a hand through his hair and yawned like a baby kitten. Shaking his head, he chuckled.

"Trace magic, when you kissed me. That's how you found me." Magnus nodded his head slowly.

"Two points to Magnus Bane." Darlessa admitted, but she had no guilt of being caught in her voice. It didn't bother her that Magnus knew.

"I would ask you how you got in but since you are already here I don't really care. The worst has come." Magnus stood up and crossed the bedroom to get a bathrobe.

"Well Magnus, at least you know I can get in anywhere I want." she walked towards him seductively, but Magnus only focused on tying the bathrobe around his waist.

"Well, not anywhere. Not in here." he pulled out his waistband and allowed it to snap back on his waist. He chuckled.

"Is that a challenge, sweetheart?" Darlessa was in standing right in front of him now, reaching for his face with her scaled hand.

"It's a warning." Magnus pushed it away before she touched him.

"That's the difference between you and I, babycakes." The ring on her scaled finger clicked and a sharp needle stuck out of the back of it. She slapped it into Magnus' neck and the warlock began stumbling. He was dizzy and his vision was going black. The world was turning around him as he tried to grab something to support himself to stop the spinning. He dropped unconscious at his bedside table.

"I never give warnings."

..

"You're up early today Alec." Isabelle commented as she made a cup of coffee for him. Clary started cooking breakfast for them since Isabelle could not and Jace would not. Or, if put in a different way if Isabelle cooked Clary could not eat and Jace would not.

"Yeah. I had a good rest." Alec replied curtly, without happiness of enthusiasm in his voice. He felt peaceful, calm as a lake but not exactly happy. Isabelle nodded in acknowledgement. It was hard to talk to Alec nowadays, since the incident he had in Magnus' apartment. He was respectful to her and the others, but like a house guest in her home. He never spoken unless necessary, or offered his opinion in anything they were speaking off. Jace had asked him if something was wrong before, but Alec simply shook his head and gave him a polite smile. Sometimes, Isabelle felt the urge to slap it out of him or shake his shoulders hard, screaming. "Come back Alec!" but she had restrained herself. She worries for her brother, though, like any sister will when their older brother suddenly turns into a stranger.

It was a beautiful morning when Magnus had called her. Simon was at her side when she awakened, snoring softly in his sleep. She got dressed quickly and pulled her hair back into a simple ponytail and skipped down to Magnus' apartment. She found Alec outside of Magnus' apartment, hugging his knees to his chest like a scared child; his hair tousled as he just woken up. The apartment door was still open, but Magnus wasn't at the door with Alec. Isabelle walked into the apartment to find Magnus at the dining table in the kitchen, several books around him as he flipped through a big old book with leather binding.

"Take Alexander home, Isabelle. He doesn't want to be here." Magnus told her without lifting his head up from the books.

"What happened?"

"My abomination of a father happened." Magnus growled angrily, slamming a fist onto the page he was reading. He looked up at Isabelle. "He did something to Alexander. He's just scared of me now." Magnus sighed.

"You sure you didn't do something wrong? You're always quick to push the blame elsewhere." Isabelle folded her arms. She didn't have anything against Magnus, just playing the role of the overprotective sister.

"I wouldn't have called you if I knew it were my fault, you know that as well as I do." Isabelle knew that was true enough. Her brothers' boyfriend had only called her three times in her life. The first, to tell her Alec had passed away, the second to tell her Alec was back, and the third to tell her to take Alec away. In all three situations the warlock had no clue what to do except wait for Isabelle to help him. Isabelle may not like that Apollyon was Magnus' sire, but Magnus could be trusted. If not from his genuine heart then his love for her own brother. She did as she was bid and took Alec home.

Alec may have been scared like a child when they left Magnus' apartment, but as they reached back to the institute his mood was neutral, or so to speak. He hadn't spoken the whole cab ride back, which Isabelle thought was derived from the shock he was experiencing, but she soon realized that Alec wouldn't talk to her unless he wanted to ask questions or greet her good morning. The situation had been the same with Jace with Clary, and even the bold blonde Shadowhunter had been disquieted by Alecs' icy courtesy.

"Alec," Isabelle started, and her brother turned up to look at her, his eyes calm and patient. "You need to sort things out with Magnus." Magnus' name triggered some emotion in Alexander, as a wave of anger flashed through his features.

"I don't need to." Alec snapped. "He sure doesn't need me, he has William." he said before he calmed again. Isabelle was taken aback by Alecs' reaction, but furrowed her brows at how quickly Alecs' facial expression changed.

"William? Who's William?" Alec stared at her, blinking innocently.

"I don't know? Who's William?" Alec asked her back. He had no memory of what he said earlier. Isabelle tried again.

"Never mind that. So, what actually did happen between you and Magnus?" Isabelle tested, and she saw the same pattern again. Alec looked angry.

"I would not waste my time, talking about_ that_." Alec spat angrily, but Isabelle sure that 'that' wasn't referring to the incident. 'That' was referring to Magnus himself. As soon as Alec had said it he returned back to the usual calm Alec state, and Isabelle could guess what happened to Alec.

"Here you are, Alec. Don't worry; no sleeping pills inside. I got to go meet someone. Tell Simon I'll be back soon." she told Alec before she rushed out the kitchen. Alec eyed the coffee suspiciously before taking a gulp from it. It wasn't that bad.

..

The buzzer was ringing. Magnus slid out of bed and tried to get to the door, but he almost lost balance and tripped over flat ground.

"Careful darling; slowly now." Darlessa held him by his shoulder and waist for him the support on. Magnus head was pounding so badly it hurt to even try to think.

"I hate you." Magnus grumbled as Darlessa brought him back to his bed to sit down. The pounding had dulled quickly, and he could see straight.

"Do I want to know why you did that?" he asked calmly. His head lowered to gain some balance back in his hand. The buzzer rang again.

"I'll deal with you later." he told her sullenly and then walked out his apartment, leaving the woman behind. Isabelle Lightwood was waiting outside his apartment block for him, pacing to and fro impatiently for Magnus. She didn't expect him to come out of the comfort of his own home in a simple bathrobe and boxers.

"Isabelle, how's our boy?" he leaned on the staircase railing and folded his arms before him.

"I figured out what happened to Alec." she announced, and Magnus nodded to let her continue.

"Your name, your person. Something Apollyon did triggered anger in his being the moment your name is mentioned. It's like a trip switch and the moment someone says 'Magnus' he just gets pissed off. The weird part is that the moment after his outburst he just doesn't remember that he did it. I know, I tried it twice in a row." Isabelle sighed. "Magnus, something is really really wrong with him. He's... Empty. He doesn't start conversations, he's too nice to Jace, he's-" Isabelle stopped when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. One Darlessa Harclay strode down the steps in her matching red pumps, her hair messed up almost fashionably, a strap from her dress slipping off from her shoulder.

"You didn't tell me you had... Company." Isabelle said, her eyes not leaving Darlessa. It was one thing to see a beautiful woman, it was another thing to see a part scaled beautiful woman with a monkeys' tail following behind her.

"Catch you later, sweetie." Darlessa fixed the strap on her dressed and kissed Magnus on the cheek, winking at Isabelle.

"Oh no, you've got some explaining to do." Magnus held her by her tail and yanked at it.

"She's got some explaining to do?!" Isabelle almost yelled. "You've got some explaining to do! Who is this?" her pitch went up to an almost screeching sound at the end of the sentence.

"Darlessa Harclay, pleasure to meet you." Darlessa told her. "Say, Magnus. Black hair and blue eyes. Doesn't that remind you or someone?" she said in a sing song tone of voice. "Oh yes, William." Darlessa said as she went back up her stairs with her hips swaying, the albino monkeys' tail tickling Magnus' chest. "I'll be waiting, stud." she cooed before she left them.

"Who's William?! Again! I heard Alec say that name too!" Isabelle threw her arms out in anger.

"What?"

"Great! You don't know either! That really helps Magnus!"

"No. Alec talked about William?" Magnus raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. 'He doesn't need me he has William.'" Isabelle imitated Alecs' voice.

"Curious." Magnus commented, half distracted by his thinking.

"You wanna know what's curious?! What's curious is WHY THE HELL IS THERE A WARLOCK WOMAN IN YOUR APARTMENT?! YOU SEEM PRETTY DAMN COMFORTABLE WITH HER TOUCHING YOU ALL OVER!" Isabelle yelled.

"Okay Isabelle calm down. She's not my lover, nor can anyone replace Alexander. That woman up there is practically the devil. I swear. She is evil. It's not what it looked like. She literally knocked me out just now when she broke into my apartment." Isabelle nodded, but it wasn't the understanding type of nod, it was quite the opposite.

"Yeah, totally, look at that, so evil. You disgusting little bastard! I can't believe you! Ugh! That's it, I can't handle this anymore. Maybe Alec is better off without you." Isabelle made her way outiside, but Magnus blocked her way.

"Isabelle please, I'm not cheating on Alec." he tried to explain.

"Sure, sure. You're just being friendly."

"No, I mean yeah it takes a lot to be in the same room with her without ripping her tail off but-"

"So you ripped off her clothes instead!"

"No! Like I said she just came over and broke into my house."

"Why, then? If I believe you, which I'm not saying I do, why did she just come over?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, if I really knew I would've let her leave! The less time that woman spends in my presence the better." Magnus explained. Isabelle looked at him for a moment, before shaking her head.

"Nope, still don't believe you." Magnus sighed loudly.

"Aw come on Is-" he was cut off by the sound of Isabelles' cell phone ringing. She squinted at Magnus sceptically and answered it.

"Yeah Jace?" Isabelle answered, and on the other end Jace must be telling her bad news because her features changed from angry to worried.

"He what? Yeah, I know, I know. I told you- damnit Jace!" she scolded. "One thing to do! One! Okay, I'm coming." she hung up. Magnus looked at her expectantly.

"What happened?" Magnus asked, guessing that they're talking about Alec.

"None of your business. Just, go back upstairs to your new girlfriend." Isabelle left with Magnus on her tail.

"Isabelle!" he called out.

"What?"

"I know you don't believe me, but please don't tell Alec." it was his final plead. The last thing he wanted was Alec to find out about Darlessa, another person from his past. Isabelle considered for a moment before she dropped her head and sighed.

"Fine. For the love of my brother, but that's all. You're still a disgusting bastard." she stated, before hailing a cab.

"Fine." Magnus murmured to himself, retreating to his home. In the background he could hear Isabelle's phone ring again. With that he knew whatever happened to his dear Alexander was urgent, but he could not do anything about it.

..

"What are you doing in my apartment?" he asked when he found Darlessa flipping through the books he laid out about demons and curses on his dining table, Chairman Meow on her arm.

"I want to know who your mortal is." she replied.

"What happened? Stabbed yourself with your own tongue? You could've asked."

"Now where would be the fun in that?" she turned to Magnus, letting the kitty go.

"Come here sweet thing." he picked his cat up and stroked it lovingly. "Did the mean lady stab you in the neck too?" he cooed in a voice used on babies.

"Okay now get out." he commanded Darlessa sternly, his tone changing so quickly it drew an obvious line between how much he loved his cat and how much he hated this woman.

"Really? First you want my help, and now I'm here you want me gone? You really have it under control, don't you?" she asked rhetorically. Of course she knew Magnus was nowhere close to finding out how to seperate his boy toy from his fathers' wrath. The piles of books on his table had spoken for him.

"I'm not willing to pay for the product so why try to shove it in my arms?" he reasoned, stroking Chairman Meow. Darlessa shrugged.

"You don't know that yet. But now I know something more. Alexander Lightwood." she flipped the page of a book carelessly. "Nephilim." The sound of the next page being flipped was just like ripping paper. "Eighteen. My my Magnus you really do like them young." she flipped another page.

"Enough." Magnus was standing beside the dining table, setting Chairman Meow down on the table. He took the book from his former lovers' hands and slammed it shut. "Your presence is giving me a serious headache. It's too damned early in the morning for this." he sighed.

"Come sweetie do you want me to make it go away?" Darlessa cooed, making her way next to Magnus' side.

"Maybe I do." he mumbled in defeat, and let the warlock woman lead him to his bedroom.

..

There were many dramatic sound effects complimenting the actors, and if any of what they were saying made sense to Alec, he would have gasped or laughed when the rest of the audience did. Regardless, he sat at his seat silently, watching the show intently through his bright blue eyes. French was such a complicated language, or so are the thoughts of one who doesn't speak it. He wasn't here for the show though, he was here for what the show could do for him. Alec felt like he was missing something, deep inside him on the left side of chest something was missing. It wasn't as drastic as missing a lung that limited his breathing or missing a right hand that disabled him greatly. It was just a dash of something being out of place, like he was a princess and below the ten layers of matresses there is a pea lodged somewhere underneath him, or so he thought it didn't matter much to him. He was wrong.

He was also wrong about leaving the institute without telling anyone, but he knew they wouldn't let him go alone. His family members have been insistent on not allowing him to leave the house alone, for some unknown reason, and he didn't feel like explaining why he wanted to watch an old foreign film alone. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the company of his family, he really did. It was just that they weren't the sort of company he wanted at that time. After the movie, Alec walked out feeling the same. The movie had kept him distracted for those good two hours, but after it was done he could feel that little extra itch of discomfort. It wasn't enough to make him go up in rage, but it bothered him a lot.

"Hey faggot!" he was brought back from his thoughts by a familiar rude voice calling from the back. He whipped his head around to face the offender.

"Where's your boyfriend, fag? I haven't got a chance to return the favour he did for me last week." the owner of the voice was obese, with a tuft of yellow hair on his head. He was probably in his mid twenties but his size made him look older. His eyes were brown and beady, and as Alec tried to examine his other features to recognize him he realized that he didn't need to squint to see his face properly, the other man was coming towards him. The Neanderthal-like man hurled towards Alec, throwing his fist at the young Shadowhunters' face. Alec stepped aside quickly to avoid the hit and the man almost fell forward from the force he intended to pummel Alec with. Alec judged with his size it would hurt if the man actually landed a hit on him, but he was too slow for his own good.

With his hands in his pockets Alec easily dodged the boulder of a man coming at him. He made no move to attack his attacker, knowing that his opponent would tire out easily due to his health. Thus, the pair engaged in an elegant dance of dodge, Alec half amused by the incompetence of the mundane and his attack strategy, if he had any.

Alec was modest on his behalf, silently avoiding every attack. If Jace was in Alecs' place, the man who Magnus shamed publicly last week would be verbally insulted in any way possible, but Alexander Lightwood wasn't like his parabatai, he was courteous. His opponent was going to go down fast, throwing air punches and trying to grab the air was a surprisingly straneous sport.

"Alec!" he heard a familiar female voice call out from a distance. He turned to the direction of the sound, distracted for a split second, but that was all his homophobic assulter needed to land a punch on his jaw.

..

"I learned your lesson about not giving warnings." the warlock stood before his bed with his arms crossed, admiring his work. He internally praised himself for his speed and competency of trapping unwanted visitors, beaming like a child at his victory. He had closed Darlessa Harclay in the palm of his hands in two simple snaps of his fingers. The first snap was to conjure magic insulating bangles to secure on both her wrist and the second snap was to hang his intruder on the ceiling by the tail. He had graciously stacked some boxes above the bed where she dangled from her tail to allow her to relieve herself of some weight from her tail. She was panicking, scrambling to take off the blasted bangles while trying not to tear her tail off with her own body weight. There were proud and pompous warlocks around the globe, where Magnus Bane himself was one, but not as proud or as pompous as one Darlessa Harclay. Her first mistake was allowing herself to think that Magnus would consider sleeping with her. She never had doubts that he wouldn't, and just had to look in the mirror and whatever worries she ha would melt away. Her second mistake was thinking she could mess with the High Warlock of Brooklyn and get away with it. She of all people should know how dangerous Magnus was, considering she was one of the few people who know his parentage. His name didn't mean 'Great Destruction' for nothing.

"Magnus please!" she cried, struggling to push herself up.

"No." he replied coldly, turning to the bathroom.

"I'm going to take a nice long shower and get myself ready for the day and if you still haven't ripped your own tail off we're going to have a chat." he explained calmly.

"No Magnus, _please_." she begged desperately, stuggling not to jerk so much. If this were a different situation she would be spitting at Magnus' feet for his nerve of putting her in that situation, but her tail was on the line, literally, and she was very fond of it.

"What would you do for me if I let you go?" Magnus asked, his back still turned from her.

"Anything, anything. Please Magnus, I,ll give you anything." she flailed. Magnus made the sound of a buzzer in a game show when the answer was wrong, walking away.

"Alright, I'll tell you how to save your Shadowhunter. Right now. _Now_!"

"Ding." he snapped his fingers and she dropped clumsily upon the pile of boxes. He pulled a chair from a nearby table and brought it to the edge of the bed, still clad in only his bathrobe. Magnus waited patiently for her to tend to her tail with her arms folded in front of him.

"Fuck you." she spat coldly, glaring at him.

"Keep talking like that if you want to hang from your tail again." he warned. "I rather enjoy the tone of your voice in that condition." the corner of his lip curled into a slight smirk, enjoying the colour of Darlessas' eyes. Light grey, almost white, like the flag of surrender.

"Fine." she muttered in defeat. "Your father is a bitch, that's for one." she removed the boxes from under her and lay down on the bed to rest, panting.

"Must be why I've been so attracted to bitches in the past, it runs in my genes." Darlessa rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, he's messing with Alexanders' head. You see, if poison doesn't work he likes to psychologically fuck up that persons lives, which, in my opinion is way worse than the poison itself. I rather be dead than crazy."

"Then why aren't you dead yet?" Magnus teased, but the warlock woman ignored his comment.

"Can you please shut up?" she sat up and glared at him. Magnus chuckled at her annoyance. The only thing better than a frustrated Darlessa Harclay was a helpless, magickless, Darlessa Harclay.

"Get to the point, and maybe I will." he retorted, and she obeyed. She told him exactly how to break the bond between his Alec and his father, however impossible the solution seemed, it was the only way. Somehow, the way out was believable because it needed the two things which Apollyon lacked:

_Love and faith. _

Magnus needed to see Alec again.

..

The cab ride back to the institute couldn't be any slower. There was a world out there where Isabelle Lightwood would have prevailed over thousands of demons without so much as soiling her Shadowhunter gear but here in a yellow taxi she has been easily defeated by traffic. No, traffic actually wins by default. She rapped her fingernails against the door and restlessly looked outside the window for signs of vast empty roads ahead. There were only more cars. In an attempt to calm herself down, she tried to think about where Alec might go, or what he would do. She hoped he was alright, not off to do something stupid. Isabelle was so caught up in her thoughts, thinking of all the possible worst case scenarios and how she would handle that. She couldn't afford to lose Alec again. It was too emotionally exhausting, and truth be told her heart wouldn't be able to take it anymore.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep beep.

Magnus Bane calling.

_Damnit, what now?_She swore internally as she picked up the phone. "Yes?" she answered in annoyance. Thought of Magnus Bane brought back thoughts of that warlock woman in his apartment. She felt her stomach twist in disgust, thinking that Magnus would choose her over her brother.

"I need to see Alexander." the voice on the other end of the line was serious and calm.

"Your phone calls have got to stop contradicting each other, Bane. _'Alec is gone', 'Alec is back', 'Come take Alec away', 'Bring Alec back'_. Make up your mind, Magnus. What do you want now?" she asked a tad too angrily, causing the taxi driver to turn back to look at her in slight concern. She raised both eyebrows at the driver and he turned back immediately.

"It's about Apollyons' connection with Alexander. I found a way to break it. All I need is Alexander, old Alexander, and for that I need to see him again."

"He throws a fit every time your name is mentioned, what makes you _think 'seeing him' _is all that takes to right things again?"

"I don't." Magnus sighed. "But I have to try." _Love and faith_, he thought. _Love and faith.  
_  
"Alright. Pandemonium Club. Tonight at eight. I don't want Alec to think this is a set up, and you dress like you're born in a club, so that would be a good place." she decided.

"However flattering that sounds, clubs weren't invented when I was born, my fabulous style-"

"Magnus!"

"Okay, okay. Tonight. I've got to start getting ready."

"Sure you do." Isabelle looked at her watch. It was three in the afternoon. "Magnus?"

"Yes, Isabelle?"

"If this doesn't go well he's going to slaughter you, you know that right?" Isabelle warned. There was a moment of silence on the other end, like Magnus was thinking about it.

"Yup." he tried to sound positive about it. Isabelle sighed, her stomach twisting into knots again. Tonight most definitely would not go well, and if Alec does decide to seriously injure Magnus out of unknown hatred, Magnus would let him.

She didn't know what to do. Isabelle had no power over how her brother reacted towards the mentioning of Magnus' name, let alone Magnus the person. However, she couldn't just allow Alec to kill Magnus out of demon driven hatred, it wasn't right. If it came to a point where Alec got his senses back and he realized what he had done- realized that he killed his own lover with his bare hands- Isabelle would lose her brother all over again. He would never forgive himself for it, as she never forgiven herself for Maxes' death, and she wasn't even the one who laid the hand to kill her little brother. She missed Max so bad sometimes it hurt. All this time she had her mind on having lost Alec that she hadn't given her other brother much thought, and because of that she would not allow herself to lose Alec again. She had to do something.

The only Lightwood daughter was staring blankly outside the window, so immersed in her thoughts that she just let the world pass by unnoticed until she caught a glimpse of a fight going on. It wasn't exactly a fight because a fight required both opponents to try to attack each other but in this case it was just one fat man trying to hit a skinny man.

"Stop!" she yelled at the driver and the man braked immediately out of shock. Without taking her eyes off the skinny man who looks just like her brother trying to dodge punches from some shallow mundane, Isabelle pulled out a twenty dollar bill from her pocket and tossed it to the driver.

"Keep the change." she murmured as she got out.

"Alec!" she called out, and true enough the skinny man turned to look at her. It was Alec. She was so happy for that one split second that Alexander turned to look at her, and then his opponent punched him in the jaw. Isabelle gasped loudly, covering her mouth with both her hands. Alec stumbled back a few steps, holding his jaw, but he never fell. Instead, he stood up and said something to the fat man, before advancing forward to punch the man in the gut. It was a hard blow at the correct area, enough for him to clutch at his stomach and stumble forward curled up in a big ball. Alec held him up by his collar and punched him from under his chin, eliciting a loud groan of pain before he fell unconscious with a loud heavy thud. Silently, Alec turned away, rubbing his bruised jaw. Isabelle ran to her brother.

"Hey Izzy." he said calmly, like he hadn't just been attacked by an oversized mundane.

"Don't 'hey Izzy' me! Where were you? What happened? Why didn't you tell Jace where you were going? Are you okay? What happened? We're all so worried about you." Isabelle started off angry and demanding but by the end when she confessed that she was worried about him she looked as though she was going to break down in tears. Alec put his arm around her and pulled her in.

"I'm fine, Isabelle. C'mon, I'm your big brother, I should be the one who's worried about you. I was at the foreign film theatre for fun, and then there was that homophobic mundane." he explained briefly. Truth be told his entire left side of his face was throbbing with pain, but he didn't want to worry Isabelle.

"Let's go home. I'm going to cook Jace dinner for this." she joked, and both Lightwood siblings laughed. They walked back to the Institute, which was just a few blocks away from the theatre, but Jace and Clary were nowhere to be seen. Isabelle had to call Jace to tell them that she had found Alec, and to threaten to cook dinner for Jace. Jace told Isabelle he and Clary had mystically appeared in front of Takis' and that they would be having their lunch there, as well as ordering take out for dinner. Isabelle told Jace about Magnus and Pandemonium, which Jace was very interested in because it was high time they got the old Alec back. After she hung up, she convinced Alec to go to Pandemonium to loosen him up a bit. Alec agreed although his face hurt after the _iratze_ Isabelle put on him.

..

Magnus was early for once in his life. He had tried to take an hour long shower but decided not to because his skin will be pruned up and disgusting. Instead he tried to use three of the six hours he took to get ready painting his fingernails. He eyed his work intently as he sat at the bar, looking for any flaws he made. He found none. Since nail polish was invented Magnus had the time to perfect the art of nail painting. He wished he could say the same for love. Sadly, love did not come in a pretty glass bottle and brush, awaiting use. Although he looked as if he was extremely interested in his fingernails, his mind was elsewhere, _'elsewhere'_ was also known as Alexander Lightwood. Magnus was more frightened about the meeting than he could admit, like a frightened little virgin girl who was about to meet her old man husband for the first time. Magnus chuckled internally at the thought, he remembered little virgin girls, whose lips were shut tighter than their legs. He contradicted himself by wondering why the hell he was thinking of little virgin girls. For a split second he felt disturbed with himself, and then the worries returned. He pulled his phone out of his blazer to check the time.

7:58 PM

_Fuck me._ Could he not have picked a better moment to check the time? Now he was going to stare at the time until it reached 8 and then pray that Isabelle's timing was in perfect synchrony with his iPhone clock. He turned around to distract himself from his clock. Pandemonium Club reeked of mundanes. Working mundanes who just finished work, eager to relieve themselves of stress, teenage mundanes on curfews who could not be bothered about life because of the over popular statement _'YOLO'_. Magnus searched the wave of people for any sign of a blue-eyed Shadowhunter and his party of black clad relatives, but he could not find any. He was both relieved and worried about it, relieved because he wasn't ready to face Alec yet, and worried because he was afraid they wouldn't show. He was slightly transfixed by a girl in a bright pink glittery dress when the table started vibrating.

Isabelle Lightwood calling.

He picked up. "Here yet?" he asked, slightly breathless. He had to press his other ear close to hear Isabelle over all the noise.

"Yeah! We're at the dance floor with the bright lights and the ground that lights up. You better get here fast before someone else literally takes Alec away for good!" Isabelle shouted, leaving Magnus clueless to what she mean by taking away Alec for good. He gathered what courage he had and made his way to the bright dance floor. It wasn't hard to find, being extremely bright and big. His heart was pounding in his chest as he closed in on the dance floor, afraid of what he was about to lay eyes upon, when he saw it.

Alec was dancing, and he wasn't alone. By the term Alec dancing it did not refer to actual dancing, more like Alecs' version of dancing, which was to put his arms around whoever he was dancing with and bob to the music. Magnus watched in blind jealousy as he watched his lover or currently former lover grind hips with a mundane, or more specifically a mundane boy. It was one thing for Alec to dance with another person besides Magnus, but it was another thing for Alec to display his sexuality so publicly. It took a demon attack in his home country for Alec to acknowledge his love to Magnus, but what of that now? He was proudly demonstrating his gay-ness out in the open with a stranger of a man he barely knew.

Magnus was furious, hurt and mostly in full hatred of himself. He wanted to tear his eyes away, to stop this self masochism he was inflicting upon himself by watching his lover love another, and yet he could not. He could not stop looking, at how happy Alec looked, at how content he was, at the example of what Magnus should be providing to him. There was a theory made by one of Magnus' young adolescent friends that if you stared at someone for a distance for an extended period of time they would somehow notice you and stare back. Well, his friend was right. Alec stopped mid laugh to squint his eyes at Magnus' direction.

_Fuck_.

He started to back away into the crowd, but what gleamed in the darkness could not seek camouflage from it. Alec had managed to separate himself from his parasitic dance partner and was making his way to Magnus. At that point Magnus was in extreme panic mode, the alarms in his mind going off, calling red alert in a robotic womans' voice. He was panicky, jealous and hurt. Magnus Bane had better days which involved physical pain instead of this terrible cocktail of emotions he was forced to experience.

_Another day would be better_, he told himself. _Or never, never was good as well_. He thought as he stumbled over the crowd of sweaty mundanes to get to the back exit. _Never_. Alexander never needed him, Alexander does not need him now. _It's going to be fine, Bane. You want him to be happy. He's happy. He's mortal. He has only so long to be happy. You have forever. You have forever 'without him', a deeper voice chimed. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. He can't remember. Does a memory of happiness between the only two people really exist if only one person remembers it? Is it true love if it's based on forgotten past? Alexander Lightwood doesn't love you, Magnus Bane._

_And now he's coming to kill you._

Magnus was feeling dizzy, the type of light headed feeling one would get if they had not enough oxygen going to the brain. He felt confused as well. He was the High Warlock of Brookly for Liliths' sake, how could he be so weak. That was the problem of over thinking, the deeper you dig the darker it gets. Magnus almost ripped the door open to reach the outside, but little did he know he had a Shadowhunter on his tail. He stumbled out, breathing heavily, ridding himself of the damned giddiness, leaning on the brick wall opposite of the club. It was all he could do not to slam his fist against the wall to rid him of the pain he felt in his heart. His sight had let him seen bad but his thoughts driven him worse. Pain of love lost was like being stabbed with a jagged knife, but pain of love unreturned scorched the soul like merciless acid.

"Why are you following me?" Magnus looked up to see Alec standing in front of him with his arms folded.

"I'm not." came the weak reply.

"Liar." Alec accused, his voice ice cold_. I'm here because I _love_ you. I'm here because I want you back. I'm here because you're the only one who can stop me from ripping my heart out to stop the pain which originated from you. I'm here because of _you_._

So many better things Magnus could have said but being dizzy, on the verge of collapsing and possibly just dying from internal heart ache could render one slightly witless.

"Okay." he replied instead. He pushed himself off the wall, unable to face Alec. He started to walk away, for the first time and the last. He felt a proper goodbye was needed, filled with words he never said, of confessions he needed to make for the very last time, but goodbyes were hard. This was not better but it sure was easier. His mind was too groggy to feel the added pain of walking away from his lover without a farewell, but he knew he would regret it later. Well, this was a regret he could try to live with.

Somehow his plan was ruined with Alec pulling him back roughly by the shoulder.

"I asked you a question!" he demanded, and Magnus allowed himself to look into Alecs' eyes for the last time. It was sad how this was how he was going to remember him. His jaw clenched and his eyebrows furrowed, his beautiful blue eyes filled with hate and disgust. He was still beautiful, Magnus had to admit. He will always be beautiful. Magnus did notice an angry purple bruise on his cheek bone and a fading iratze below it. He could not help but feel worried about Alec being hurt; it was hard wired into his system.

"I answered you." he tried to smile. He tried to smile despite the fact the only person he loved was the only person who had 'Magnus Bane' etched on the top of his Most Hated List. He tried.

"Bullshit!" Alec accused again, shoving Magnus against the brick wall by his sleeve. He crashed hard into the brick wall, warm blood trickling down his temple. It hurt. It physically hurt his poor head, but it hurt in his heart even more. It hurt that Alexander was the one inflicting this pain on him. The boy which he put his heart and all his trust in his hand had shattered it so easily as he shoved Magnus into the wall. He held on the brick wall to stand up properly, stubbornly attempting to turn and walk away. _Please_, he felt like begging. _Please stop_. He felt like pleading. _Please, not you. Anyone but you. _

There was a brief flash where he wanted to lash back at Alec, but he could not.

_I will not hurt Alec._

"I'm nothing to you! Why can't you just leave it as that?" Alec pulled him back to punch his face, and Magnus tripped and fell from the blow. He could hear ringing in his ears, and his face felt wet and sticky.

_I will not hurt Alec._

"Why don't you just leave me alone? I'm happy without you! Why won't you fucking fight back." Standing was not welcoming to Magnus in his current condition, but the Shadowhunter pulled him to his feet before slamming him against the wall. Alec pinned him down with an arm across his neck, cutting off most of the oxygen flowing to his head.

_I will not hurt Alec._

"Fight back will you?! Fight back!" he punched Magnus in the gut, pressing his arm deeper into Alecs' neck. Magnus was choking now, but he fought hard not to show it. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he hit him again.

_I will not hurt Alec._

He was half unconscious from pain and loss of blood when he did it, but he did it anyway. He lifted a hand to Alecs' bruised cheek, pressing on it till little blue sparks flew from the tips of his fingers, and he made it recover fully. _Here's your strength back, Alexander. _

It was hard wired in his system.

"Alec!" he could faintly hear Isabelle screaming behind Alec. "Alec stop! You're killing him." Isabelle cried, and Alec let go. Magnus gasped loudly for air, one hand on his throat and the other on his stomach as he started to run away. There was nothing that did not hurt, but he had to get away. Congratulations _Alexander Lightwood_, a voice in his head chimed out.

_You broke Magnus Bane. _

"Why the hell did you do that?" Isabelle demanded furiously. In that moment Isabelle felt so sorry for Magnus, so sympathetic. Nobody deserved to be hurt by the one they love, especially with the love Alec had for Magnus.

"Why was he here? Did you set this up?" Alecs' palms were bloody, and he pointed a bloody finger at Isabelle accusingly.

"So what if I did? Huh?"

"You think he loves me? Is that it? You did all this because you think this 'love' is worthy of saving?"

"No. I did it because Magnus was worth saving. Magnus who loves you, Magnus who has done everything because of you, Magnus who cured your bruise when you were killing him. MAGNUS BANE WHO SAVED YOUR LIFE! MAGNUS BANE WHO I WOULD HAVE LOST BOTH BROTHERS TO IF NOT FOR HIM! I DID IT BECAUSE YOU OWE YOUR LIFE TO MAGNUS BANE, and all he wants is for you to be happy." Isabelles' voice cracked in the end.

Alec looked down at the blood on his hands and at the alley where he almost killed the warlock, but Magnus was nowhere to be seen. He did, however, leave a blood trail.

_What have I done?_

* * *

A/N: Yeah. What the hell have I done? I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER. In my head I was like "Hey you know what's worse than Alec being separated from Magnus? Alec _hurting_ Magnus." That's it. Apollyons' in my head! Oh and tell me how it was for you! Was it _okay_, or _okay fuck you_, or o_kay please stop writing_ or _NOT OKAY JUST FUCKING STOP_. Yeap. haha

The next chapter is the last. It's the 'lets clean things up chapter' _YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN._

_**SPRING**_ CLEANING.

Thanks for reading x  
C-ish


	4. Spring (i)

When the Sun Sets in the East  
Chapter 4: Spring (i)

"You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming."  
- Pablo Nueda

* * *

The water flowing from the tap was scorching hot, but he didn't mind. All that mattered was that he got the blood off his hands. He scrubbed and scrubbed them, raking at his skin with blunt fingernails to rid himself of the sticky red liquid on his skin. The blood had been thoroughly washed off by the force of the water flowing from the tap, but Alec could still feel it in his skin. He could feel the blood seeping through the pores of his skin till it mixed with the blood in his own veins. No matter how hard he scrubbed he could still see that his hands were tinted red by blood. It was probably because he scrubbed his hands till they were red and raw but he just kept scrubbing at it, hoping the blood would finally wash away. Hoping his deeds would finally washed away. He looked up to the man staring back at him in the mirror through the layer of steam gathered on it. His hair was tangled messily, with odd bits sticking on his face due to perspiration. His eyes were wide open, bright blue irises contrasted with red veins, watery and tired. It didn't bother him that his hair looked terrible, nor did it bother him that he was on the brink of crying, his problem with the man in the mirror was that his face was unharmed. There was no dark purple bruise on his left cheek bone. His face was without flaw, which, ironically disturbed him the most. He looked down again at his hands. They burned from the water, stung from the fingernail scratches, and felt weak from the torment they've been through.

"Alec!" someone was pounding on his bathroom door.

"Alec open up!" the voice demanded.

Jace. His parabatai, and his brother. What he wanted he always got. There was a loud crack of splintering wood, and then long lean arms wrapped around him, pulling him away from the sink.

"By the Angel, Alec, what the hell are you trying to do?" Jace grunted behind him, trying to drag him out of the bathroom.

"Bloody hands." Alec replied weakly, allowing himself to be hauled away.

"Well, at the rate where you're going you might actually succeed in getting bloody hands." Jace informed him, carefully tossing his parabatai onto his bed. Alec was still looking at his hands, holding them gingerly before him as he examined the water rivulets slide down his skin. He could almost feel the heat radiating off them, the red raw flesh burning inside out. Jace had switched off the tap and grabbed a hand towel.

"Alec." Jace was crouched in front of him so that they were on eye level. The golden haired boy was beautiful, with matching golden eyes and cheekbones that could cut through paper if he tried, yet all Alec saw now was a brother in his eyes.

"Come off it, Alec." Jace snapped his fingers in front of Alec. "How are you feeling?" Alec shrugged and turned away.

"Like I just chainsaw massacred a bus full of school children."

"Well I think with Magnus' age he could be equivalent with a really big bus of school children." Jace added, not helping. Alec lay down on his bed, trying not to look at his hands.

"What is wrong with me, Jace?" he asked sullenly.

"You attacked Magnus Bane for no reason." Jace stated, which Alec already knew. He wanted to shut himself off. He couldn't hear this again.

"You single handedly beat Magnus up just because you saw him look at you." Alec stirred on his bed.

"You repaid the man who saved your life with a bad concussion and possibly some broken ribs." Alec sat up, the guilt weighing on his chest suffocating him.

"Damnit, Jace! I know! Stop telling me!" he yelled, unable to keep it in any longer. He tried to stand up to leave the room but Jace stood up and blocked his path.

"No." Jace responded sternly. "You are going to sit here and listen to it." he decreed. It was the only way to get Alec to snap out of whatever daze he was in.

"I don't want to." Alec resisted, looking Jace in his eyes.

"You don't feel bad, don't you? That's why you don't want to know. You don't want to feel it, and why should you? You don't care about Magnus, you never did. You just used him. Used him to help you recover, used him because you have no one better to hate on, so why don't you just hate the person who would love you no matter what; and look how that proved to be true! He was dying and he never fought back from what Isabelle told me. Never! I know she isn't lying. Look at you! All scratchless and perfect. He didn't even put up a fight, did he? He didn't push you away or even ask you to stop, and still you kept at ending his life. You ought to go to Isabelle and kiss her feet, because if she weren't there you wouldn't only have blood on your hands, Alec. You would have a life on them too. Not just any life, the life of the one who loves you the most, the life of-"

"Stop Jace, stop!" he tried to push past Jace but Jace held on to his shoulders.

"Say it!" Jace provoked. "Tell me you hate Magnus. Tell me you hate him so much you would kill him in his sleep. Why are you feeling guilty about this? Huh? Washing the blood off your hands? Why? You should wear it like a glove, like a medal. Let it be known that Alexander Lightwood beat the person he hates most. The helpless warlock whos' only mistake was loving him."

And then Alec finally snapped. He shoved Jace backwards.

"I don't hate him! I don't! I love him. You're wrong, Jace! I feel so bad about what I done it makes me want to eat my heart out. I should never have hurt him. I feel it. I feel everything! You know why? Because I love him, Jace. I love Magnus."

Click.

The truth will set you free.

Alec fell down hard on his knees, the world spinning around him.

I love Magnus.

..

Scratch. Scratch scratch scratch. There was the slightly irritating noise of a pencil scratching against parchment paper in the background. Well, what the fuck? His head was throbbing so hard he felt as if someone threw him against a concrete wall head first.

Oh right, someone did throw him head first into a wall.

He groaned. He felt very heavy, like he was bound to whatever bed he lay in. He could hear the distant beep of a heart monitor, and smell the anti-bacterial air freshener around him. He was absolutely certain that he was in a hospital.

Scratch scratch.

Goddamnit.

He tried to open his eyes but only one succeeded in lifting the lid, the other is conveniently taking a nap. It was bright and blurry, like heaven with pencil scratches as the symphony of his arrival to the Pearly Gates. It hurt every time he blinked but it annoyed him that his vision was less than perfect. He could see a girl with bright red hair coloring at some sketch pad.

Aha. The scratch pencil culprit has been revealed. Is she drawing me? The ginger girl looked up to see Magnus looking at her.

"Magnus!" she cried, half shocked and half happy.

"Clary." he acknowledged. He wanted to say more but his head hurt more every time he tried to move a face muscle.

"Water you doinere?" he mumbled.

"Waiting for you to wake up. I must say I wouldn't have expected you to regain consciousness so soon. The nurse said with the blood you lost you it would be a miracle if you wake up in this 24 hours. Then again, you aren't exactly human." Clary explained.

"You brought me here?" he asked, puzzled. He remembered Clary Fray the small red head girl who used to scare Chairman Meow. He had watched her grow up since she was a toddler, and because Magnus never had children of his own, being able to examine her throughout her life was... Interesting.

"We all did. Well, Isabelle and I did. Simon and Jace took Ale-" Clary paused mid sentence.

"-Lexander." Magnus completed the word for her.

"I'm sorry, Magnus." Clary dipped her head guiltily. Like Isabelle, she felt extremely sympathetic towards Magnus.

"It's not your fault. Now, show me what you drawn." he replied, eager to change the topic. Everything else hurt so much right now his heart could use the rest. Clary bit down on her bottom lip, studying her drawing properly.

"I hope you don't think it's creepy or anything, but you look so... Different without your elaborate make up and glitter gloss. A good different, if you know what I mean. It's like your naked features can be seen clearly now, and I just had to draw you." she flipped her sketch pad over and suspended in the centre of the page was a picture of Magnus' face. It was a good drawing. His features were drawn so accurately it shocked Magnus himself, who was more accustomed to seeing his own face with make up rather than without.

"It's beautiful." he told her. "I mean I know I'm beautiful already but this is really good, Fray." By the looks of the picture it became apparent to him that his head was bandaged like a mummy.

"Now I have to kill you because you have seen my naked face." he joked and they both laughed. Well, Magnus tried to laugh. His stomach hurt when he tried to chuckle. At that moment Clarys' phone beeped. She removed it from her pocket and read a text.

"Already spreading news about the Fall of Magnus Bane?" he tried to joke again.

"No.. It's not that." Clary replied, half distracted by the typing she was doing on her phone. She put it down and looked up at Magnus, worry spreading through her features.

"Alec wants to see you." Magnus didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. Was this a joke? The person who put him here in the first place wanted to see him. What did Alec want with him now? To finish him?

"I don't want to see him." he said, with an air of finality about his words.

"Alright." Clary said. "But if you ever do he's waiting outside right now." she started texting again.

Bugger, Magnus thought.

..

The Chinese restaurant he chose was like any other chinese restaurant. Small and noisy with the clacking noise of wooden chopsticks on bowls. He had asked Jace to meet him here. This was the last place Alec would suspect he would go. The golden boy wasn't late, which surprised Magnus, because with that attitude he had he wouldn't expect him to be serious about anything. Jace pulled the chair opposite Magnus and sat down, obnoxiously dragging the wooden stool inch by inch to get closer to the table.

"So, who are we killing today?" he asked casually. Magnus ignored him and pulled out a small velvet box and put it on the table. Jace did not expect it in the least, his eyes widening at it. He did try to cover it up by making a joke about it.

"I am extremely honoured, but I must decline." he said dramatically. "My heart belongs to another." he added, grinning. Magnus had to resist the urge to smack his head. Instead, he opened the box. The ring was a thin band of bright gold with diamonds around it. Magnus had spent hours at the jewelry shop just staring at rings till it blinded his eyes. Most of the engagement rings were feminine; thick silver bands with one massive rock in the middle. It was all too common in women he knew Alec wouldn't be comfortable wearing it. After all, by being the proposer Alec had been set to the feminine one in the relationship by default. He didn't want Alec to feel like he was a girl.

"I want you to keep it for me." he told Jace, snapping the box shut. "Alec spends all too much time in my apartment and there's no place to hide it from him."

"How do you know I won't pawn it off for a vintage gun or something?"

"Because you love Alec too, and if you intend to do that then I'm ordering roast duck right now and we're not leaving until you finish it." Jace squinted at him.

"You wouldn't" he said darkly.

"Try me." Magnus challenged.

"Shouldn't you keep it so that you can pop the question when the time is right? Isn't that what people do?"

"I don't know when I'm going to ask, but when I do decide then I'll have it back from you." the warlock explained.

"Why me? Why not Isabelle? She's more suitable with this wedding stuff." Magnus raised an eyebrow.

"And how long do you think it takes before Alec finds out? One hour? Two? You know how excited women are about weddings."

"Right." Jace took the box from the table and opened it, examining the ring.

"Is that-?"

"Yellow diamonds."

"Is it-?"

"Of course it's real."

"This must cost a fortune."

"Two, actually, but I'm still alive." Jace nodded, impressed by the ring.

"Do you have any idea when you intend to ask?" Jace asked curiously. Hiding a ring wasn't a big deal but he didn't want it to disappear on his watch. Magnus shrugged.

"When Alecs' back to normal again. No nightmares."

"That might take like forever..."

"And so forever's how long I'll wait."

..

Jace and Alec lay side by side lengthways on Alecs' bed, their long limbs able to touch the ground beneath the bed. They always did that when there were kids, even though Alec was 13 and Jace was 11. When Jace first came to the Institute, Alec welcomed Jace with open arms because he finally had some boy who was almost his age whom he could train and play with. Jace was far more advanced in his studies although he was younger, and was distant towards Alexander when he first entered the foreign home. Yet, Alec tried his best to allow the other boy to warm up to him. After a year both boys were inseperable, and though they did not play normal games like mundane children, they would sleep in the same room, passed out from their own games.

"You died, Alec. It's the truth everyone has been hiding from you. You were poisoned in a demon fight and you couldn't recover from it. Your whole left arm pretty much died at first, with a fang lodged into it. We thought you were going to get better, then after six weeks a fever took you again. From what I know, Magnus did some fire thing and you came back six weeks later." Jace explained.

Alec found it all quite hard to digest, which was expected of anyone who just found out they died before. He couldn't remember much about Magnus before but somehow he knew everything now. It was like all the gaps in his memory was filling up slowly, and by tomorrow he expected his memory to be full and whole.

"So, all this time I've had Magnus' dad in my head?" he asked eventually.

"Pretty much." Jace agreed. "Talk about protective fathers." They both laughed at that, the idea of Magnus being a girl with a rogue father.

"I need to see him." Alec sighed. "I need to apologize, and I don't know. Make things right? Fuck, Jace. I'm such a mess." Alec slapped a hand to his forehead.

"Not fret, young Woodlight."

"You did not just try that yoda thing." Alec scolded.

"It's your fault. You let him bring over the movie. It was those high definition discs where you could see every ugly wrinkle on every monsters face." Jace cringed.

"My fault?" Alec repeated, feinting shock. "You brought the former mundane into our world in the first place! Everything he does originates back to you." he chuckled.

"Even the coke and mentos trick?"

"Especially the coke and mentos trick. Church was having a heart attack."

"Church was having a heart attack because he ran into your room after that." Jace retorted.

"Oh yes, Magnus was skinning a cat in our room. It's very heart attack inducing in cats." Alec nodded to himself.

"Sure sounded like it."

"Shut up, Jace." Alec laughed, blushing as he shoved his parabatai lightly.

"Careful there, Woodlight, I'm texting."

"Clary?"

"Yup, I'm telling her that you want to see Magnus."

"What, why?" Alec panicked, sitting up to throw himself onto Jace, tackling him for the phone. He pounced on top of Jace.

"Send, damnit, send!" Jace tapped his screen hard and shoved the phone down his jeans.

"You do know I'm gay, right?" Alec threatened.

"Well fuck." Jace cursed, and as if on cue the phone down his jeans vibrated, and Jace cursed once more, his leg jerking involuntarily. Alec started laughing, rolling back onto the bed as he clutched his stomach.

Jace sloppily retrieved his phone from down his jeans and read the text he just received.

"Alright, let's go." Jace sat up.

"He wants to see me?"

"Quite the opposite." Alec looked confused. "But he will want to, and when he does we'll be right outside waiting for him."

"How do you know he'll want to see me at all?" Alec asked.

Jace reached down to feel the bulge the shape of a small box in his inner jacket pocket.

"I know."

..

Magnus was good company to keep, Clary thought as she sat on a cushion couch beside Magnus' hospital bed. He could only move his lips to speak, and that was all it took for him to keep Clary company. She was the one who was supposed to make sure Magnus did not feel bored or awkward being in the same room with her, which was expected because she wasn't the one bandaged like a mummy. Yet, it was Magnus who assumed the role of the conversation starter, telling Clary about the first time she came to his doorstep with her mother. Clary listened very intently to Magnus, curious because she had no recollection of her first meeting with Magnus Bane. Magnus was a good storyteller, who could go on and on about something simple, but would never leave Clary feeling like she wasn't part of the conversation.

Even while suffering injuries, he could still light up the room with his words. Clary could clearly see why Alec fell in love with Magnus in the first place. Alec was shy, with odd jokes and close to being socially awkward- the exact opposite of Magnus himself. Magnus made him feel accepted, loving him for who he was, while Alecs' strong love could not be hidden by the fact that he was shy. It made Clary sad to see Magnus lying there talking about everything beneath the sky except Alec, when he obviously still loved him, even after Alec put him there in the first place. The door clicked open and Magnus stopped talking, his heart skipping a beat. He forgotten for a moment that his assaulter had been waiting outside the room all this time, but instead it was his sister who sauntered in.

"How you feeling, Magnus?" she asked, holding a tray of coffee in paper cups as she walked in, kicking the door shut behind her.

"Like a million bucks. Which is bad, because I usually feel at least like a billion. Must be the lack of glitter." he sighed.

"Ha. Ha. Should I call the nurse to give you a glitter shot?" Isabelle said sarcastically.

"Only if your boyfriend gets one. He's so not fabulous. Chairman Meow dresses better than him." Magnus stated plainly.

"That's because he doesn't have a fashionista as an owner." Isabelle pointed out.

"Oh Isabelle, how humble you are."

"I don't own Simon."

"Yes you do. You have that boy on a leash, or a whip." Magnus raised an eyebrow suggestively. Clary chuckled while Isabelle rolled her eyes.

"Alright, I didn't come in here to be mocked. Would you like some coffee, Clary?" Isabelle walked over to the round table next to where Clary was sitting and set the tray of coffee down, her heavy heeled boots clacking against the ground.

"I'm fine, Jace will take me home when it's Magnus' bed time." Clary flashed a smile at Magnus.

"Bed time? What am I, eight?" Magnus whined.

"Times one hundred divided by three broken ribs, a fractured skull, and some bruises, I'd say about ten." Jace said as he walked in.

"You obviously failed your math." Magnus retorted.

"Is?" Clary raised her eyebrows to signal something private to Jace.

"Yeah, not willingly, though."

"Alone?"

"No, with Mr. Brightside."

"Stop calling Simon that!" Isabelle defended.

"He likes it." Jace said dismissively. "Come on, it's late and Magnus needs to rest. See you tomorrow." Jace nodded, with Isabelle and Clary wishing him goodnight before stepping out of the room.

"Hey Magnus." Jace said as he held the door open.

"Yes?"

"Yellow diamonds." Jace reminded Magnus before leaving, closing the door behind him.

They found Alec sitting on the ground next to the door of Magnus' room, Simon pacing uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets in front of him.

"Simon, what's wrong? You look like you're going to throw up on Alec." Isabelle asked, putting an arm around Simons' waist.

"Blood. Blood everywhere." Simon looked down at his sneakers and scuffed them against the ground.

"Alright, we're going. Alec?" Isabelle looked down at her brother who had sat with his knees bent, feet firmly planted on the ground as his arms hugged them to his chest, his head lowered. He lifted his head up slowly to look at his sister.

"I'm staying." he decided.

"The nurses are going to kick you out. Mundane hospitals are strange like that." Isabelle warned.

"That's why we have glamours, Izzy." Alec replied with a hint of lethargy in his voice. "No one will know I'm here."

"You have to get some rest. We'll come back first thing in the morning, Alec." Jace tried to coax Alec into coming back to the Institute with them. Although he was not allowed into the room, Alec had somehow gained access to the X-Ray scan which showed all the bones he had caused Magnus to break. Jace was adamant in preventing Alec from seeing any of the damage he caused but Alec was too stubborn for his own good. After that his mood just went downhill and he sat outside the room, trying desperately to listen through the wall that separated Magnus and himself.

"I'm fine here." he replied stubbornly. Jace sighed. "Alec, look. I know it's my fault I dragged you here, and I realize that, but we really need to go home now. There's no purpose for you being here." he tried again.

"It's not your fault. It's mine." Alec set his eyes downcast, staring at a crack on the ground. "I- I don't want to go home b-because." He took a deep breath and looked up at Jace. "What if he-" he stopped mid-sentence, the word stuck in his throat. "D-dies." he swallowed hard, exhaling loudly.

"I've been with him the entire time since the doctors let him have visitors, Alec." Clary bent down to place a hand on Alecs' shoulder. "He's fine. He only complained once of twice that he can't scratch his head because of the bandaging but he's not in any pain. He's getting better." she told him reassuringly.

Alec made no move to shrug Clarys' hand off his shoulder but he turned his head away from her. "You didn't see his file. Even the doctors aren't sure. 'Possible blood clot in the brain.' 'Punctured liver.' 'Possible memory loss.' It's all because of me." his voice cracked in the end. "What's the point of me getting my memories back if he loses his? I rather he hate me now than have him not remember me at all. At least this way I know he used to love me. I can't lose him this way again, not like this. I just can't." he put his forehead on his knees and although he made no sound the shudders his body released made it evident that he was crying. It wasn't violent sobbing, just small painful shudders.

Clary took a step back and Jace advanced, but Simon waved them off, signalling for them to leave. Everyone looked at him in puzzlement but he simply nodded his head, "I got this." it seemed to have meant. Although they were reluctant to leave Alec in this condition, they left anyway. Alec didn't need pairs of eyes staring of him not knowing what to do. When they were gone, Simon took a seat next to Alec on the ground, leaving quite a distance between them.

"My mum kicked me out of the house when she found out I turned into a vampire." Simon nodded to himself. It was hard for him to talk about the subject to anyone, or even himself. He hadn't tried to either, but now was a good time to start.

"I was a son for seventeen years, and then just because I changed my diet and had longer incisors I was a monster. She threw me out of the house and then drew supposedly religious markings all over our house so I would not come back. In her mind, I wasn't her boy anymore. I wasn't the boy who would have piles of dirty laundry that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere, or had to have a haircut twice as many times as a regular boy because it was crazy curly. I wasn't the son she drove to the hospital one night in her night gown when I was ten because I had a seizure. Can you believe it? This is the hospital. It's not the blood that makes me uncomfortable to this place. It's the memories. I almost died. No, my mothers son almost died. If you could remember when you were ten years old, you would think loving your mother was icky. I did too, until that night I had the seizure. I don't think I've ever seen my mother crying before, but as I lay there shaking uncontrollably in my Star Wars pajamas she was crying, clutching my hand and stroking my face because my mother was helpless in helping me, and that tore her inside out. She kept telling me that it was going to be alright, and that there were doctors who were going to save my life, but I don't think I lived because of the doctors. I lived because I didn't want my mother to feel helpless, because I love her and I didn't want to die on her because she couldn't do anything about it." She was with me the whole three days I was in the hospital, telling me stories, keeping me company. She even tried to play video games with me, although she obviously was not good enough." Simon turned to look at Alec, still balled up, but his shuddering ceased.

"But look where I am now. My mother told me never to come back. She disowned me, she forgotten me. I repulse her, I think, although a single day doesn't go by where I don't love her less. It's my fault, I keep telling myself, because that's the only way I can live with myself knowing she doesn't acknowledge her only son and still love her." Alec lifted his head up, eyes shut as he leaned his head back onto the wall.

"But it really is my fault. I almost killed him." Alec admitted quietly, his face flushed red and wet from tears.

"Is it really? Would you have done it if you remembered who he is? Would you be the monster if you didn't have a devil controlling you?" Simon asked.

"No." came the quiet reply. "That doesn't change the fact that I'm responsible if he dies."

"He won't die."

"How sure are you?"

"Because he loves you." Simon replied bluntly. Alec tried to laugh but it made his chest hurt.

"And I have angel wings." he tried to joke.

"I'm serious, Alec."

"Alright, if you are right, how would that stop him from dying?"

"It's like me, my mum and the seizure of doom. He'll live because he doesn't want you to feel helpless, because he loves you and he doesn't want to die on you because you couldn't do anything about it."

..

"I said I didn't want to see you." Magnus called out into the darkness. His back was facing the shadow in the corner of his room but he could smell the other person.

"Technically, you're not, because you can't see me." the voice replied quietly.

Magnus chose not to reply to that, either from lack of wit due to anaesthesia or afraid of a slip of tongue. Instead he shut his eyes again, bathing in the glow of the moonlight, allowing sleep to claim him once more, but he could not ignore the fact that the most important person of his life was behind him, staring at him.

"If you're here to finish me off make it fast, my father misses me I know."

"Magnus I'm-"

"Sorry? Does it really seem that I care that you're merely sorry? And how many times has an apology fixed anything." Magnus snapped back. Alec was taken back by his response. He never had Magnus tell him off before, whether it was in their relationship or after, and it hurt that he did it now.

Magnus shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. It hurt him to yell at Alec with such hatred but he knew he had to do it. The Shadowhunter would never forgive himself if he saw the damage he had done upon Magnus' self.

"I'm sorry, more sorry than I would ever be for the rest of my existence, and I know I won't live as long as you, nor the quality of my short mortal life can be compared to yours, but that's the beauty of it, don't you think? Right now, in my life, however insignificant it is, the figure of most significance in it, is you. You make my every day worth pulling through, just to be with you, just to see you smile and breathe and laugh and love. With you I am immortal, with you I would have lived all the days which you had and will ever live, and I will enjoy every moment of it just because of you. I know I won't admit it in public or scream it off the top of the buildings, but right here right now between these four walls, I want to tell you that I am absolutely nothing without you. I can't phrase words as nicely as Jace does, so I'm just going to tell you the truth. You are all that I am ever willing to live for, any day of my life, but I blew that chance, didn't I, and I know now that I have to find another reason to live for, although everything is second best compared to you, and Jace tried to tell me that it wasn't me who did it, it was something to do with your demon father and however much I want to believe Jace, I want to believe that I did it too. I want to feel the pain and the guilt coursing through my system because I hurt the only person who loves me back. I want to know how much pain I caused you throughout these few weeks because if not I don't think I can let myself go without bothering about this because I just, I love you.." Alec ended. "But- yeah." he stopped himself, turned his heel and started leaving.

Magnus bit hard on his bottom lip.

"Al-" the Shadowhunter stopped in his tracks, his sneakers squeaked on the ground."-ec"

There was a strong pause where Magnus contemplated the words he wanted to say. The problem was, there was so many and none at all. He wanted the silence to define how hurt he was but at the same time he wanted to tell Alec how much he missed the old him- the Alec standing in his room breathing the same air at this moment- with all the words he knew in all the languages. Conflicted by his intentions, he decided not to choose one at all.

"Hold me." He decided. He wasn't going to repeat it again and Alec knew it, but the Shadowhunter could not believe what Magnus said. He decided if Magnus didn't really say that he would just be shoved off, but he slowly proceeded the hospital cot, sliding onto the bed, spooning Magnus. He put an arm around Magnus' waist and pulled himself into him, aligning his body with the warlocks', careful not to move abruptly as to cause the warlock pain. His heart was pounding so strongly in his chest he was certain Magnus could feel it from his back.

He felt Magnus lacing his fingers in between his of the hand he draped over Magnus' waist to hold him.

Alec shut his eyes, and tears wet the pillow they both shared.

* * *

I know right. Why is it shorter this time.

You waited so long for a filler chapter, and for that I apologise. I felt the story was lacking of some parabatai scenes and a bit of Clary & Magnus and I wanted to bring out the broken side of Simon (such a bitch I am)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, I tried to emphasize on the relationship between characters in this chapter.

REVIEW BC YOU LOVE ME (: [I joke]

Thanks for reading,  
C-ish x


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